When you leave a 9-5 job, it seems obvious that you can now embrace a new you. You can relinquish the classic structure and etiquette typical of a worker bee in a corporate environment and be finally free. You are free to grow dreadlocks, or shave your head, you can get piercings in all sorts of visible places, or big dirty tattoos, why not? (Why all of the associations of freedom are based on this clichéd image are not something to be proud of, but there you go...) However, unless you have a deep desire to damage or inflict pain on your body, or hair for that matter, in order to prove to yourself, or anyone else, that you are now an entrepreneur, this may not be the correct course of action for you.
You could express your own individual personality and style through following fashion trends of your own choosing, instead, right? Not having to worry about what your employer or fellow workers would deem suitable now that you run the show, you can be free to express your own true style and identity. However, it may come to your attention that the image of the new company that you are bringing into existence has its own identity, and its one that you need to impart to the world, fashionably, in order for it to be successful. It may only represent part, but not all of who you are; it may even hold a personality of a particularly distinct category. Do you now find yourself being in a sense, your own “employer” and imparting certain traditions and rules to the clothes that you now deem suitable for [insert your company name here].
So not being able to quite clearly be who you are with body art, or indeed through fashion choices, you may think that at the very least, you can be honest in your writing; you can be free of the shackles imposed by previous employers who controlled the way in which you expressed your ideas and thoughts on paper. Remember the manner of speaking in emails, documents and proposals in industry, all formalised and following a regulated structure and format. Yuck!
But has it occurred to you to take a look at what you are writing these days, or should I say, how you are writing? Is there an air of, dare I say, regulated structure and formal phrasing? Any
“Dear esteemed sir,
Please find attached the proposal that we heretofore discussed on the telephone.
Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me at your leisure if this would be something that you would like to consider.
Thanking you kindly in advance for your highly valued contributions,
With kind regards” kind of malarkey?
Who are you becoming? This is not supposed to be happening now that you are “free”, remember?! What happened to illusions of emails with,
“Hi stevie,
Here’s that doc we chatted about earlier. Get back to me if you like it, if not, your loss!
Later,”
Where is the right balance you may ask? Honesty in writing can be dangerous, if you are telling people to fuck off on a regular basis, even if that’s what you do indeed feel like saying, you may never make any money...
Seriously though, if you write with too much structure, and prevent emotion from flowing freely through your words, if you dress too much for success and cover up the body art to fit into your idea of the identity of your company, then you risk hiding your passion and enthusiasm for [insert company name here], and you may never be able to attract “the people who care” to your ideas for change.
It takes guts to show the true you, and I remember to respect those who are following their own rhythm in life, saying who the fuck cares. I am listening hard to my own advice here, the message lies behind the humour, somewhere.
All ideas presented here are fiction and do not in anyway represent the opinions of the writer...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Dreaming of paid time off and learning holidays in the sun
Damn Gary Quinn and his surf board toting article in the Irish Times. Is he paid by the Irish Times to take such a holiday, or is he sponsored by eurolanguages.com, both of whom benefit from his Spanish in the surf? What a perfect job, and why don't I have it? His magical tale wraps itself around my brain, like a boa constrictor, threatening to squish my happiness and delusion in my own day to day life. A week in Spain eating glorious Spanish food, taking afternoon siestas, and lapping up the lessons in the surf, while learning a language sounds utterly sublime as I sit mired in to-do lists that never seem to get any shorter. The break sounds utterly delicious, and I am wracking my brains trying to figure out how I can build a business that will enable me to take the time off and indeed pay for such an adventure... today.
I check out the website recommended, and torture myself looking at French packages with cooking lessons attached. "The reviews are all so positive," I notice, "and they are so cheap, especially considering what you are gaining."
Clicking on a link where I am shown the registration fee that wasn't included in the original price, I hear the voice in my head wavering a little, "Even if they do add on a whopping registration fee, and aren't including the cost of food or accommodation... these things will sort themselves out..."
Who am I kidding? Deluded I must be as I have neglected to remember that I am bordering on a vegan and I can't think of anything worse than seeing all that cream, cheese and butter not to mention meat, being used in French delicacies that I can't sample. Obviously the article has found a part of my brain that has no logic, and imbedded itself so deeply that reality has gone out the window.
What happened to my idea of living in the now, in the moment, not needing to buy things or be a "consumer".
I resigned from my job a couple of weeks ago, convinced that the business idea that we had, www.meetforeal.com, was strong enough, is strong enough, to create jobs for both myself and my partner. Although I still believe this to be true, it sometimes breaks my heart to see how long the road is ahead, and how tough it's going to be to get through the Seth Godin "Dip" and into the land of "scarcity creating value", when our events will effortlessly pull in both the sponsors and the punters. I know that day exists, but how far away it is I cannot measure, and until I can see it in my sights, its saliva drooling, logic out the window dreaming for me, and a matter of postponing all those learning holidays in the sun until a future date... Just another to-do list for me to monitor.
Are you an extravert or an introvert?
Reading Dorothy Rowe's book "Dorothy Rowe's Guide to life" changed the way I see the world. For anyone who hasn't heard her theories, I'll try and explain my favourite one.
She reckons that we are all either introverts, or extraverts. Not extrovert but extravert, with an 'a' (brings up memories of explaining meetforeal, with one 'r':-)).
Before I explain the difference, let me just clarify that apart from this initial identification which she perceives to be a determined characteristic, she then goes on to say that the secret of life is that we are capable of changing anything in our lives. That it is our specific set of beliefs, and the meaning structure which we have developed, unique to each individual, that shapes our view of the world around us, and this structure can be changed by allowing ourselves to see the structure itself, and step outside of it.
This links in nicely with the event we are holding in a couple weeks for anyone who is interested in thinking, and awareness, and how we can change the way we see the world, and the difficulties we perceive that we face... more details here; but anyway, I'll stop waffling and get to the point!
Introverts and extraverts can have the same external results: in this simple exercise you can see that Mary feels it's important for her to be on time for meetings, but when you do the ladder exercise, you can see that depending on her reasons behind the act, she shows whether she is an introvert or an extravert. So it's the reasons behind WHY you do something, not necessarily the behaviour itself.
Let me do the ladder exercise.
So Mary likes being on time for meetings, she feels its important.
Interviewer: "Why?"
Mary: "Because I don't want to be late"
Interviewer: "But why don't you want to be late?"
Mary: "Because I want to get the most out of the meeting, be fresh and alert and not stressed"
Interviewer: "And why is it important for you not to be stressed?"
Mary: "Because then I can achieve my best."
Interviewer: "Why is it important for you to achieve your best?"
Mary: "Because it's important for me to achieve my best!"
This is where the ladder may run out... and if it does, it can be said that Mary may be an introvert: she experiences her sense of existence as achieving.
If however Mary continues and says:
Mary: "Because it's important to me that the people at the meeting see me at my best, and have the best possible opinion of me."
Interviewer: "So is it important that others see you at your best?"
Mary: "Yes, of course."
Here, Mary shows that she may be an extravert, that she experiences her sense of existence as being in relationship to other people.
Introvert:Experiencing your sense of existence as developing, organizing clarifying, achieving; seeing the threat of the annihilation of your existence as disorder, mess and chaos.
Extravert:Experiencing your sense of existence as being in relationship to other people; seeing the threat of annihilation of your existence as rejection and abandonment.
An Introvert will be more inclined to doubt his/her external reality e.g. feeling of not really being there.
An Extravert will be more inclined to doubt his/her internal reality e.g. sense of loss of self.
This is because the Introvert listens more to their internal reality, while the Extravert listens more to their external reality.
An Introverts idea of being alone is of themselves on an empty planet.
An Extraverts idea of being alone is of being isolated and often rejected.
An Introvert's ultimate aim is personal achievement.
An Extravert's ultimate aim is good relationships.
An Introvert will leave a group of people because they feel over-stimulated.
An Extravert will leave a group of people because they fear rejection.
However, as I mentioned, being an introvert, or extravert can have similar results externally. And depending on how good you feel about yourself, can alter how you express this part of yourself.
Obviously, this is a short, very simplistic, explanation, but if you find it interesting, she has written books on the subject.
She says that in almost every couple, there is an introvert and an extravert, even though initially it may seem like both of you are one or the other.
So I found that I am an extravert, which seemed initially odd to me, because that means Adrian is the introvert, yet he is the one holding "talking to strangers" workshops, but it's obvious that he pushes himself to achieve these things as he feels they are important in his life.
And on further investigation, I remember writing this diary entry, below, over 6 months ago, and after reading it, I know I am an extravert! That combined with the fact that I struggled to write this because its important for me to please my readers, and I don't want to turn you against Dorothy Rowes writing because of something I have mentioned here!! But anyhow, here's some of my journal, maybe it will resonate with some of you extraverts, and if it doesn't, I guess you are an introvert... :-)
By the way why is this important you may ask?
Because she says that for introverts, it's important that they have something in their lives through which they can fulfil their requirement for a sense of achievement; and for extraverts, it's important that they have a close network of people who they can feel identified with, who support them and love them. So its something to keep in mind.
My diary:
I was cycling home today from work, and it just occurred to me. What if I had no where to go? And why do I need to get home so badly anyhow? Do I have something pressing to do? I know that when I get home, I will wonder what to do next. And if I had no home to go to, no destination in mind, what would I do? Where would I go?
I suppose we fight our whole lives not to have to have the sensation of not having a home to go to. Except people who are homeless and choose to be. Perhaps I will one day find our their reasoning behind it. Or the travelling community, or gypsies, who spend their whole lives moving from one point to the next. However they have a home, their caravan.
As the world is becoming globalised, for the first time we do have the choice of not going home, of not going to work, of taking a flight and just arriving with no destination in mind, no hotel booked. All you need is money and perseverance and a lot of balls.
That, coupled with the new sensation of meeting new people, new faces everyday, means that the world we live in is drastically different from that which we evolved in. And as such, these sensations are both petrifying and incredibly satisfying. Meeting new people leaves you with a temporary buzz, and the act of stepping out of your comfort zone to even spend a few days in another country, far from home, is tempting enough to keep a number of huge businesses ticking over.
But what if we were to only meet new people. And what if we were to never settle down. What if that holiday became a life, and the movement ensured that you never met the same person enough times to get to know them. That would be isolation of the highest order. People do it. Jobs are the main reason why, but there are others who seek such isolation, and after a number of years of this behaviour, the people they knew in a place called "Home" either move on, or die away, and the language attached to the birthplace become meddled with the languages of current destinations, and there no longer is a home to go back to.
I wonder what that feels like. Just the thought of not having a destination after I'm finished work causes my heart to beat a little faster. I can't imagine what it would be like to be without a home on this earth.
I often seek isolation, avoiding my workmates in order to have lunch alone. I take it outside or I deliberately go at a time when I know they will be busy. And I enjoy it. That time when I am alone, free to do as I wish. No conversations to attempt, no small talk to create, I am satisfied and comfortable.
But after a few days of isolating lunches, I realise that I am out of the loop, I have no friends at work, no one to talk to, no one to tell my news to. I have no small talk to make as I have spent so much time by myself that they don't open up to me, and I am lost in conversations. So those few moments I steal to spend alone have repercussions beyond measure. And yet I still delight in them. The forbidden act, which I know is all the more forbidden now because it is not a productive behaviour.
And as I cycle home, I know that I can stray off the path, I can bypass home and go into town, there is nothing stopping me. But somehow there is a sensation that it is wrong. And that emptiness fills me as I realise that if I do not go home, that there is no reason to be here. Is there a meaning to life if you have no home to go to? If you have no people to talk to? If you have no one who knows you, loves you or misses you?
She reckons that we are all either introverts, or extraverts. Not extrovert but extravert, with an 'a' (brings up memories of explaining meetforeal, with one 'r':-)).
Before I explain the difference, let me just clarify that apart from this initial identification which she perceives to be a determined characteristic, she then goes on to say that the secret of life is that we are capable of changing anything in our lives. That it is our specific set of beliefs, and the meaning structure which we have developed, unique to each individual, that shapes our view of the world around us, and this structure can be changed by allowing ourselves to see the structure itself, and step outside of it.
This links in nicely with the event we are holding in a couple weeks for anyone who is interested in thinking, and awareness, and how we can change the way we see the world, and the difficulties we perceive that we face... more details here; but anyway, I'll stop waffling and get to the point!
Introverts and extraverts can have the same external results: in this simple exercise you can see that Mary feels it's important for her to be on time for meetings, but when you do the ladder exercise, you can see that depending on her reasons behind the act, she shows whether she is an introvert or an extravert. So it's the reasons behind WHY you do something, not necessarily the behaviour itself.
Let me do the ladder exercise.
So Mary likes being on time for meetings, she feels its important.
Interviewer: "Why?"
Mary: "Because I don't want to be late"
Interviewer: "But why don't you want to be late?"
Mary: "Because I want to get the most out of the meeting, be fresh and alert and not stressed"
Interviewer: "And why is it important for you not to be stressed?"
Mary: "Because then I can achieve my best."
Interviewer: "Why is it important for you to achieve your best?"
Mary: "Because it's important for me to achieve my best!"
This is where the ladder may run out... and if it does, it can be said that Mary may be an introvert: she experiences her sense of existence as achieving.
If however Mary continues and says:
Mary: "Because it's important to me that the people at the meeting see me at my best, and have the best possible opinion of me."
Interviewer: "So is it important that others see you at your best?"
Mary: "Yes, of course."
Here, Mary shows that she may be an extravert, that she experiences her sense of existence as being in relationship to other people.
Introvert:Experiencing your sense of existence as developing, organizing clarifying, achieving; seeing the threat of the annihilation of your existence as disorder, mess and chaos.
Extravert:Experiencing your sense of existence as being in relationship to other people; seeing the threat of annihilation of your existence as rejection and abandonment.
An Introvert will be more inclined to doubt his/her external reality e.g. feeling of not really being there.
An Extravert will be more inclined to doubt his/her internal reality e.g. sense of loss of self.
This is because the Introvert listens more to their internal reality, while the Extravert listens more to their external reality.
An Introverts idea of being alone is of themselves on an empty planet.
An Extraverts idea of being alone is of being isolated and often rejected.
An Introvert's ultimate aim is personal achievement.
An Extravert's ultimate aim is good relationships.
An Introvert will leave a group of people because they feel over-stimulated.
An Extravert will leave a group of people because they fear rejection.
However, as I mentioned, being an introvert, or extravert can have similar results externally. And depending on how good you feel about yourself, can alter how you express this part of yourself.
Obviously, this is a short, very simplistic, explanation, but if you find it interesting, she has written books on the subject.
She says that in almost every couple, there is an introvert and an extravert, even though initially it may seem like both of you are one or the other.
So I found that I am an extravert, which seemed initially odd to me, because that means Adrian is the introvert, yet he is the one holding "talking to strangers" workshops, but it's obvious that he pushes himself to achieve these things as he feels they are important in his life.
And on further investigation, I remember writing this diary entry, below, over 6 months ago, and after reading it, I know I am an extravert! That combined with the fact that I struggled to write this because its important for me to please my readers, and I don't want to turn you against Dorothy Rowes writing because of something I have mentioned here!! But anyhow, here's some of my journal, maybe it will resonate with some of you extraverts, and if it doesn't, I guess you are an introvert... :-)
By the way why is this important you may ask?
Because she says that for introverts, it's important that they have something in their lives through which they can fulfil their requirement for a sense of achievement; and for extraverts, it's important that they have a close network of people who they can feel identified with, who support them and love them. So its something to keep in mind.
My diary:
I was cycling home today from work, and it just occurred to me. What if I had no where to go? And why do I need to get home so badly anyhow? Do I have something pressing to do? I know that when I get home, I will wonder what to do next. And if I had no home to go to, no destination in mind, what would I do? Where would I go?
I suppose we fight our whole lives not to have to have the sensation of not having a home to go to. Except people who are homeless and choose to be. Perhaps I will one day find our their reasoning behind it. Or the travelling community, or gypsies, who spend their whole lives moving from one point to the next. However they have a home, their caravan.
As the world is becoming globalised, for the first time we do have the choice of not going home, of not going to work, of taking a flight and just arriving with no destination in mind, no hotel booked. All you need is money and perseverance and a lot of balls.
That, coupled with the new sensation of meeting new people, new faces everyday, means that the world we live in is drastically different from that which we evolved in. And as such, these sensations are both petrifying and incredibly satisfying. Meeting new people leaves you with a temporary buzz, and the act of stepping out of your comfort zone to even spend a few days in another country, far from home, is tempting enough to keep a number of huge businesses ticking over.
But what if we were to only meet new people. And what if we were to never settle down. What if that holiday became a life, and the movement ensured that you never met the same person enough times to get to know them. That would be isolation of the highest order. People do it. Jobs are the main reason why, but there are others who seek such isolation, and after a number of years of this behaviour, the people they knew in a place called "Home" either move on, or die away, and the language attached to the birthplace become meddled with the languages of current destinations, and there no longer is a home to go back to.
I wonder what that feels like. Just the thought of not having a destination after I'm finished work causes my heart to beat a little faster. I can't imagine what it would be like to be without a home on this earth.
I often seek isolation, avoiding my workmates in order to have lunch alone. I take it outside or I deliberately go at a time when I know they will be busy. And I enjoy it. That time when I am alone, free to do as I wish. No conversations to attempt, no small talk to create, I am satisfied and comfortable.
But after a few days of isolating lunches, I realise that I am out of the loop, I have no friends at work, no one to talk to, no one to tell my news to. I have no small talk to make as I have spent so much time by myself that they don't open up to me, and I am lost in conversations. So those few moments I steal to spend alone have repercussions beyond measure. And yet I still delight in them. The forbidden act, which I know is all the more forbidden now because it is not a productive behaviour.
And as I cycle home, I know that I can stray off the path, I can bypass home and go into town, there is nothing stopping me. But somehow there is a sensation that it is wrong. And that emptiness fills me as I realise that if I do not go home, that there is no reason to be here. Is there a meaning to life if you have no home to go to? If you have no people to talk to? If you have no one who knows you, loves you or misses you?
Forum Bullies
Forums are scary places. I know they are a way that people can communicate based on common interests, but for newbies, they can be dangerous places. On a recent attempt to post details about an event we were holding, I had the sensation that I was an uninvited guest to a buzzing party. The reactions I got to my post were immediate and threatening, as if the long standing posters on the forum were marking their territory, peeing all around it, showing me their fangs from the sidelines, and telling me to back off.
It's funny how people behave as though they are in a different world online - a world where manners don't need to be upheld because people are anonymous. Without the addition of facial expression or tone of voice, so much can be hurtful and misunderstood. Why does this "freedom" to write and say whatever you want to say appear so different from communication in real life encounters? I have never felt such complete and utter disregard for the effort we are making, or the work we are putting in at face to face contact - only online have I felt such aggressive, negative language, so quick to put down, to judge.
There's a different set of rules for forum playgrounds, and the bullies are evident, some stacking up a whopping 6 months, 12 hours a day worth of posts (I calculated) - an embarrassing amount of their lives on these places - dishing out criticism as though their opinions represent those of the masses, their fear at a newcomer evident in their immediate derisive language.
With so many forums popping up all over the place, with little or no moderation evident, is it time to look at the ways we communicate, and why we feel that it's acceptable to spend so much of our lives speaking to one another in such an anti social manner? Or do we simply need to weed out the bullies on these forums and remind them that newcomers, like newcomers to a party, should not be immediately judged, stared at and whispered about, deemed different and an outsider, but welcomed, and introduced to everyone, with an open mind and a smile of recognition at how hard it can be to walk into a room full of strangers, online or in real life.
It's funny how people behave as though they are in a different world online - a world where manners don't need to be upheld because people are anonymous. Without the addition of facial expression or tone of voice, so much can be hurtful and misunderstood. Why does this "freedom" to write and say whatever you want to say appear so different from communication in real life encounters? I have never felt such complete and utter disregard for the effort we are making, or the work we are putting in at face to face contact - only online have I felt such aggressive, negative language, so quick to put down, to judge.
There's a different set of rules for forum playgrounds, and the bullies are evident, some stacking up a whopping 6 months, 12 hours a day worth of posts (I calculated) - an embarrassing amount of their lives on these places - dishing out criticism as though their opinions represent those of the masses, their fear at a newcomer evident in their immediate derisive language.
With so many forums popping up all over the place, with little or no moderation evident, is it time to look at the ways we communicate, and why we feel that it's acceptable to spend so much of our lives speaking to one another in such an anti social manner? Or do we simply need to weed out the bullies on these forums and remind them that newcomers, like newcomers to a party, should not be immediately judged, stared at and whispered about, deemed different and an outsider, but welcomed, and introduced to everyone, with an open mind and a smile of recognition at how hard it can be to walk into a room full of strangers, online or in real life.
Waiting Rooms
Is it just me or do waiting rooms give you the jitters?
Waiting in Government funding offices, clutching your recently printed reformatted, readjusted, rewritten business plan in sweaty hands, practising the words of your carefully crafted presentation that tumble and stick in your brain, waiting to see if you are accepted or rejected. Sucked in or spit out.
Hospital waiting rooms, surrounded by crying families, sniffling children and day time television, expecting results from two-week old studies that involved numerous blood sucking and technologically baffling swivelling apparatus that have the capacity to tell you your fate. Waiting to see if, according to the experts, you will live to see another day, or if you have to endure yet more of the same painful procedures before you will know the truth.
Waiting for a job interview, watching the other applicants exit with smiles on their faces, and sweat patches encircling the underarms of their once pristine interview outfits. Waiting to see if your job experience, and your personality, is enough to beat all of the others.
What has somehow come to pass is that the negative associations of waiting rooms have now been transferred in my brain to the simple act of waiting in a room, regardless of the situation. Perhaps it is now inbuilt in the act of sitting on a comfortable couch, overseen by a receptionist, surrounded by boring, germ ridden magazines. Even when the outcomes are slightly less important, with less of the unexpected nature about them - if my hair will still be manageable for instance - with none of the pressure, none of the life changing consequences that are attached to other scenarios, I still feel my body contract, screaming - "get me out of here!"
Next time I am meeting with one of you for some reason or another, I have one request - please don't keep me waiting :)
Ellen
Waiting in Government funding offices, clutching your recently printed reformatted, readjusted, rewritten business plan in sweaty hands, practising the words of your carefully crafted presentation that tumble and stick in your brain, waiting to see if you are accepted or rejected. Sucked in or spit out.
Hospital waiting rooms, surrounded by crying families, sniffling children and day time television, expecting results from two-week old studies that involved numerous blood sucking and technologically baffling swivelling apparatus that have the capacity to tell you your fate. Waiting to see if, according to the experts, you will live to see another day, or if you have to endure yet more of the same painful procedures before you will know the truth.
Waiting for a job interview, watching the other applicants exit with smiles on their faces, and sweat patches encircling the underarms of their once pristine interview outfits. Waiting to see if your job experience, and your personality, is enough to beat all of the others.
What has somehow come to pass is that the negative associations of waiting rooms have now been transferred in my brain to the simple act of waiting in a room, regardless of the situation. Perhaps it is now inbuilt in the act of sitting on a comfortable couch, overseen by a receptionist, surrounded by boring, germ ridden magazines. Even when the outcomes are slightly less important, with less of the unexpected nature about them - if my hair will still be manageable for instance - with none of the pressure, none of the life changing consequences that are attached to other scenarios, I still feel my body contract, screaming - "get me out of here!"
Next time I am meeting with one of you for some reason or another, I have one request - please don't keep me waiting :)
Ellen
Grounded in Time
I'm just back from walking in the Spanish Countryside for 8 days on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. This time we walked from St Jean Pied de Port to Pamplona; and from Logrono to Burgos. 8 days in total. The camino is something that is quite unusual to be described as a holiday activity. It seems a crazy endeavour - to participate in a gruelling experience that can only be described as painful and challenging, all to reach the distance that a 2 hour bus journey would cover. It is evident after a few hours of pain that walking is not the most efficient or effective means of transportation!
I'm trying to think of what I learned. Every day there was a new lesson, but apart from patience, and tenacity, finding new pain thresholds, and self belief to continue and reach my goal, I think that coming home after doing the walk I find myself much more grounded in time.
Starting your own company is so difficult. People envy the idea of working for yourself - your own hours, your own ideas, your own expectations, and your own dreams, but in reality, although the magic is there, it can be a whirlwind of never-ending to do lists, stressful self-inflicted deadlines and it feels like it will take forever to reach your destination.
After walking for 7-8 hours a day, my minds complete and utter intoxication with "work" and the excitement I feel everyday on encountering problems and identifying possibilities began to lose its stickiness, and gradually I was released from its sucking grip. I remembered what it was like to not have meetforeal on my mind 24 hours a day.
On coming home, I am pleased to find that I have learned something about work from my long hours on the road. I've learned that as long as you have a destination in mind, and self belief that you can get there, you can make it, and when exactly you get there does not necessarily matter. Of course it's nice to have a deadline, and expectations, but if you just keep walking, you will arrive.
Sometimes you have someone beside you, sometimes you're alone; sometimes it's up hills, sometimes the ground is muddy, or stony, sometimes all you can feel is pain, foot pain, knee pain, ankle pain, hip pain, hunger, dizziness, heavy bag pain; sometimes you feel like you won't make it, can't make it, don't want to make it anyway, and then the ground levels out or you reach a bench near a fountain and you can catch your breath. Sometimes it's raining, sometimes the heat of the sun bears down on you and fills you with energy and light, sometimes it takes all your energy away.
You have to deal with naysayers, people who moan along the road beside you, who want to quit, and want you to quit, who say you can't make it, who don't have the same vision, and you have to leave them behind. You have to be with your own pain, your own heavy bag, your own feet and your own struggle, as each has their own.
And it's the people you meet, the places you visit, but the people you see them with that make every step worthwhile, every ounce of pain measurable against joy, and every inch of agony a step in the right direction.
The camino is like having a company, and walking along a long road to reach the destination that you have determined as being your goal, your milestone, your Santiago. Our Santiago was Burgos this time, with only 8 days to walk, and reaching Burgos was every bit as important as people walking for 30 days to reach Santiago de Compostela.
It reminded me that in reality, there is never enough time in life to do all of the things that we want to do, and yet at the same time, there is all the time in the world. That not everything can be done now, today; we can't reach our destination without walking there, step by step. Sometimes it feels like the steps are tiny, minuscule in fact, that no one would even notice the effort involved to travel such short distances, sometimes it can seem as though we are standing still, but then one day, you look back over the hills and trees, and you see just how far you've come.
So it is with renewed strength that I tackle my everyday tasks, without stress, with the knowledge that there will always be time enough to finish them, but that no matter how much time I have, there will never be enough.
I'm trying to think of what I learned. Every day there was a new lesson, but apart from patience, and tenacity, finding new pain thresholds, and self belief to continue and reach my goal, I think that coming home after doing the walk I find myself much more grounded in time.
Starting your own company is so difficult. People envy the idea of working for yourself - your own hours, your own ideas, your own expectations, and your own dreams, but in reality, although the magic is there, it can be a whirlwind of never-ending to do lists, stressful self-inflicted deadlines and it feels like it will take forever to reach your destination.
After walking for 7-8 hours a day, my minds complete and utter intoxication with "work" and the excitement I feel everyday on encountering problems and identifying possibilities began to lose its stickiness, and gradually I was released from its sucking grip. I remembered what it was like to not have meetforeal on my mind 24 hours a day.
On coming home, I am pleased to find that I have learned something about work from my long hours on the road. I've learned that as long as you have a destination in mind, and self belief that you can get there, you can make it, and when exactly you get there does not necessarily matter. Of course it's nice to have a deadline, and expectations, but if you just keep walking, you will arrive.
Sometimes you have someone beside you, sometimes you're alone; sometimes it's up hills, sometimes the ground is muddy, or stony, sometimes all you can feel is pain, foot pain, knee pain, ankle pain, hip pain, hunger, dizziness, heavy bag pain; sometimes you feel like you won't make it, can't make it, don't want to make it anyway, and then the ground levels out or you reach a bench near a fountain and you can catch your breath. Sometimes it's raining, sometimes the heat of the sun bears down on you and fills you with energy and light, sometimes it takes all your energy away.
You have to deal with naysayers, people who moan along the road beside you, who want to quit, and want you to quit, who say you can't make it, who don't have the same vision, and you have to leave them behind. You have to be with your own pain, your own heavy bag, your own feet and your own struggle, as each has their own.
And it's the people you meet, the places you visit, but the people you see them with that make every step worthwhile, every ounce of pain measurable against joy, and every inch of agony a step in the right direction.
The camino is like having a company, and walking along a long road to reach the destination that you have determined as being your goal, your milestone, your Santiago. Our Santiago was Burgos this time, with only 8 days to walk, and reaching Burgos was every bit as important as people walking for 30 days to reach Santiago de Compostela.
It reminded me that in reality, there is never enough time in life to do all of the things that we want to do, and yet at the same time, there is all the time in the world. That not everything can be done now, today; we can't reach our destination without walking there, step by step. Sometimes it feels like the steps are tiny, minuscule in fact, that no one would even notice the effort involved to travel such short distances, sometimes it can seem as though we are standing still, but then one day, you look back over the hills and trees, and you see just how far you've come.
So it is with renewed strength that I tackle my everyday tasks, without stress, with the knowledge that there will always be time enough to finish them, but that no matter how much time I have, there will never be enough.
Potential investors and peppermint tea, days to remember
Running a company is such a rollercoaster. No day, no moment is the same. From potential investors with 8 million to invest sitting in front of you, to psychology questionnaires and free peppermint tea in coffee shops, with a stranger leaning over to try and steal answers, the noticing of a foreign accent creating easy conversation. Met a lovely man who commented on my teeth - apparently my mother was a very healthy woman when she had me.
But getting back to the investment opportunity - you never know who you are talking to in this world. People are full of surprises, some moderately good, sometime nasty, and sometimes, very rarely, they are eye opening, sparkling juicy ones that pull you tightly to your seat, pour adrenaline through your veins and retain the moment firmly in the present, forcing you to contain dreams for the future and blessings of the past in suspension... which is good... great actually, that life can be so bursting with energy in the present, that you can forget to worry or plan, or even attempt to construct an idea of the future that tomorrow will bring, because each encounter you have now, means that you idea of tomorrow will never come to pass.
The reality we construct, if only it could be as wondrous, always, as these unexpected meetings and chance encounters.
It's all about being remarkable, asking for what's not apparently on offer and taking the next step, a step that can sometimes seem so easy, too easy, so that no one takes it, or seems so difficult that no one dares. But by daring to step, by daring to be different, or by daring to just be yourself and open to the possibilities that the random nature of life brings, your life can be so full of "life".
I go back to my original notion - that its human, face-to face encounters that capture the essence of life, the interactions on a real level with people in your environment, the random nature of people who float in their own unique bubbles of meaning structure, bumping off of each other, opening up to exchange a little of the air pressure inside. We all benefit and change by the encounters, and exchanges, and without them, we are alone, isolated, unchanged, unaltered, not necessarily unhappy, but not enthused with the different ways of seeing the world that others perspectives bring. Some cause change in tiny amounts, some in huge life altering exchanges, but all of them worth it.
But getting back to the investment opportunity - you never know who you are talking to in this world. People are full of surprises, some moderately good, sometime nasty, and sometimes, very rarely, they are eye opening, sparkling juicy ones that pull you tightly to your seat, pour adrenaline through your veins and retain the moment firmly in the present, forcing you to contain dreams for the future and blessings of the past in suspension... which is good... great actually, that life can be so bursting with energy in the present, that you can forget to worry or plan, or even attempt to construct an idea of the future that tomorrow will bring, because each encounter you have now, means that you idea of tomorrow will never come to pass.
The reality we construct, if only it could be as wondrous, always, as these unexpected meetings and chance encounters.
It's all about being remarkable, asking for what's not apparently on offer and taking the next step, a step that can sometimes seem so easy, too easy, so that no one takes it, or seems so difficult that no one dares. But by daring to step, by daring to be different, or by daring to just be yourself and open to the possibilities that the random nature of life brings, your life can be so full of "life".
I go back to my original notion - that its human, face-to face encounters that capture the essence of life, the interactions on a real level with people in your environment, the random nature of people who float in their own unique bubbles of meaning structure, bumping off of each other, opening up to exchange a little of the air pressure inside. We all benefit and change by the encounters, and exchanges, and without them, we are alone, isolated, unchanged, unaltered, not necessarily unhappy, but not enthused with the different ways of seeing the world that others perspectives bring. Some cause change in tiny amounts, some in huge life altering exchanges, but all of them worth it.
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