Jordan the arid land!!!!!

This is a really interesting photo that i took outside of a little restaurant and you see them all over the place in Syria.
-Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran's president)
-Bashaar al-Assad (Syrian president)
-Hassan Nasrallah (Secretary General Hezbollah)
The TRIAD OF EVIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Jordan was really really cool, when i was in Damascus Syria i met loads of people who have been in Jordan before being in Syria and they all said that Syria was so much nicer than Jordan and the same with people. Everyone pretty much felt in love with Syria. I was not so bias and i just let myself be impressed by Jordan . The last day i was in Damascus i didn't have a nice experience although. I was in the taxi-Bus station to get a cab for Amman Jordan and when i first arrived to the station one boy approached me and said: Oh you are going to Amman come here that i have a CAb!!! He took me to the car which was a brand new car really modern in comparison with the rest of the cabs around and then I haggle over the price. This was extremely difficult because none of the boys who were offering the service spoke a word of english!!!! So it was really difficult it was all through Arabic, after that they called one guy who spoke english a bit more and told me that it was a real cab and that it was all cool. I trusted the guy into believing that he was a real taxi driver so now it was all a matter of waiting for more people to join the cab because they are all shared cabs in the middle east unless you pay for a private service. A couple of minutes later he asked me for my passport because apparently they had to fill in some sort of forms that everyone who is crossing the border into Jordan is meant to have, although i made the stupid mistake of giving him my passport. Six minutes later i asked one of the guys of where the hell his partner was?? He responded in a very oblivious way and started asking me for money for some strange reason so then i was FUCK!!!!!!!!!! The other guy is now going to run away with my passport and imagine being in syria with no passport considering that Syria us such a difficult country to travel around. A couple of minutes later after i gave him 3 euros as the price to go and look for the boy who took my passport and still didn't see a shadow of him and then i though i was so screwed!!!!!!!! I started getting a bit crazy and then all of a sudden i saw the boy and asked him for it. He acted as if i never gave him anything and all of a sudden another guy totally unrelated with the current transaction gave it to me. I was so relieved. It was a really difficult that day. It took so much energy out of me and once more i realized that it's not so easy to travel in the middle east at all.



Then managed to get to Jordan-Amman and then took a bus to Petra, although before i went t to Jordan I investigated of a good guide who could take me to the Wadi rum desert.
I manage to get into Jordan and then went to the wadi rum desert and met this guy called Aodeh. He is a Bedouin and he makes tours all along the Wadi rum desert. He took me all along the desert for 2 days and manage to sleep in the open air at nite it was great it was not cold at all!!!!! The Wadi rum is such AN AMAZING desert is just completely amazing its just so beautiful.
The second day he took me to a really remote place close to Saudi Arabia with no tourists at all and I met a Bedouin who lives in the desert all by himself. He didn't have a real house. He lived under a rock literally and he has been living alone in the desert for 30 years apparently. It was surreal to meet someone like that and realizing how could there be human in the current 'Modern Age' living like that??? Mubarak, Aodeh's partner was the guy who drove me along the desert and he cooked me really good Bedouin food.The tent was really amazing really relaxing (Aodeh's tent) and the stars at nite are just unbelievable its just so incredible i couldn't believe we live in such a great cosmos where the hell are we????????





So then i went to petra really amazing as well everyone should really go and see. It is unbelievable as well. I stayed there for 3 days just exploring all the amazing sites and met a really nice guy from Taiwan who offered me to take a picture (I had no camera at that stage) and send it over by email. A couple of days later i went to Amman and the most important part was that i met incredibly friendly people too. I was just walking down the street and all of a sudden one guy call me over and offer me to sit right next to him just to have a conversation. He was Palestinian and stayed in prison for 6 years. It was really great to meet someone like him adding the fact that he invited me some coffee, later on another guy came over but he didn't speak a word of english but he was so nice and welcoming is just crazy how people in this big city could be so incredibly welcoming and friendly that was the big lesson we are all giving humans deep down inside or not so deep down. We are just so full and full of fear of rejection or of being hurt etc etc.....It's and old story.






Adrian

Shopping Addict

Hey guys, if you have a chance, watch this video - the first few bits are obvious, but when she gets to the consumption and disposal stuff its kinda scary.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/index.html

It was only yesterday that I saw a woman crossing the street, and I noticed her shoes - They were the old fashioned heels, like the one in the picture:

(Even when I was looking for this picture, I saw so many nice shoes, I am so weak, I want them all!!)

This video spoke to me about how I am being tricked into being a consumer: I mean how recently would I have thought these shoes are mingin... and now, just by seeing them on sale everywhere, and in magazines, and worn by the celebs... they are suddenly delectable! Its insane!

The american economist, Victor Lebow said the following in the 1950's:
"Our enormously productive ecomony demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption... we need things consumed, burned up, replaced and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate."

Its crazy, but I feel personally, at the moment, that I can sometimes use shopping as a method of filling my soul. And that scares the shit out of me! I wish I didn't feel this need, to own stuff, or to look pretty. As I cycle a lot, I tend to people watch, its an addiction! I'm hooked!

I know deep down that spending my hard earned cash on good food, and good times is much more important than the buzz I feel from wearing new shoes, but with Christmas around the corner, and new shops opening everywhere (has anyone seen Limerick lately? Its superb!) its hard not to jump on the bandwagon, and buy, buy, buy!

That said, I was aware of the problem, so I started bringing my journal to work, and writing during my breaks instead of shopping... but now that I've seen this video, I'm more determined not to let myself be brainwashed into thinking the latest fashions will soothe my soul.

Happy christmas shopping!!
love el xx

Work issues

Yesterday I had a shit day at work. I met my new friend afterwards, (we were meant to play squash but the courts were full so we settled for having a drink instead) and I was able to scream and shout and let it all out!

So in the midst of us both moaning, I felt myself being carried along on the bandwagon, finding more and more things to complain about! All of a sudden I started feeling pissed off - I have been through a lot of shit, and I was pissed off that I had already forgotten the most fundamental thing that I learned: No one has a perfect life. Happiness is not given to you - you have to go and get it. There is no such thing as "when I have a better job, then I'll be happy". Fair enough, you may feel less bad on a daily basis, but you cannot rely on your job to be the thing that needs to change in order for your life to be happier - YOU have to change. Plus!: Sitting around complaining is not gonna get us a better job! We have to go find it! We have this idea when we are struggling, that everyone else is happier, or luckier. But I remember, when I was sick, and even now, it is impossible to find people who are without problems in their lives. And there is no way to measure whose problem is larger, or more important.

I interrupted her in mid sob story, and asked her to name 5 good things in her life. She told me it was impossible, but I insisted. I didnt want to be telling her what to do, I know that perhaps I would have gotten better results if I had trained as a psychologist - if I was able to ask her the correct questions so that she could come to the conclusion by herself, but this exercise was as much for me as for her, and I felt I needed to at least plant a "positive thinking" seed in her brain...

So she did so. And we created this lovely bond between us, that ok, work can be tough sometimes, and maybe we need to start looking for other jobs, or at least speak up about our problems and try and sort them out. But to sit in our negativity, and moan, we both felt like shit doing it. Sometimes life gives us a hard situation to deal with, and by reliving the drama and the pain, by dwelling in the awfulness of the situation, we do ourselves no good. The sooner we can accept that this is the way things are going to be - in my friends case, for 2 years; in my case - until I start making money from other sources! the easier it will be to just rise above it.

When I came home I remembered Sunny Jacobs, who I wrote about ages ago - she was happy living on Death row, in a tiny little cell, alone. And I remembered how I managed to feel positive even being told I had 2 years to live, with no boob, with an open wound in my chest, with no hair, with physical pain from chemo... In that state I realised that all I need is hope - hope that the pain will go away, and hope that I will get better; and love from my family and friends. All the rest is bullshit. When I felt well again, it was the most beautiful feeling - that all I need is to not feel that ache in my brain from the drugs.

Ok, my job is not perfect, but I earn a bit of money, I've made a friend, and I am not sitting alone at home everyday. I am learning about people, and about illnesses, and I am learning how to deal with my inability to take orders! Its just so hard, to keep remembering - that all this is extra - that all I need to be happy is to be well and to have love, and to remember to look on the bright side of life. Screw Maslow's pyramid.

So my gratitude for life has been lost, and I am trying to find it again. I guess I just have gotten so used to being well... Long may it last.

I hope you all had a smashing day at work, or if you didnt, that you can take the time to list 5 good things in your life, and try to remember that theres more to life than work, even though it doesnt seem that way sometimes...

Love el xx