Ellen and Adrian's Blog

Can you make a living out of art? How?

2009-08-14T11:16:00.006+01:00

As promised, here is the second film of people in Galway, giving their views on if its possible to make a living from art, along with some tips on how to do it.

As contradictions spread in all directions, it might be best to ask the experts tomorrow in the Gallery Cafe in the Galway City Museum, at 4.30!

Why is art important for humans?

2009-08-14T11:14:00.001+01:00

We wanted to do something special in build up to our event on Saturday, and get the people of Galway involved, so we decided to make a short film... After the Darklight Film event recently, we were convinced anyone could do it!

So it was conceived, filmed and edited by the very own meetforeal crew.

Monday: Camera arrives in post

Tuesday: Hit the streets in cloud-like Galway weather and film 9 people, asking them what they think about art, and how they promote it

Wednesday: Edit clips and put it all together

Today: Release of part 1:
What comes into your head when you think "Art"
and
Why is art important for humans?

So with my editing skills developing by the minute, here's proof that anyone can make a film! I am proud to present: Why is art important for humans:

Next we release more footage on:Can you make a living from art?

and How?

So come back and visit us to check it out! :)

Developing Equanimity

2009-08-14T11:11:00.001+01:00

When I worked as a waitress in Wildwood, I was asked once why I was so friendly to the customers - why I bothered being so smiley, offering them a helping hand, never a harsh word or an angry comment; even when customers left no tip, or were rude to me; even when I was tired or in a bad mood.... (That might be exaggerating a tad, the illusions of memories)

I said it was because it wasn't fair on the customer for me to inflict my bad day on him/her. If I infected someone, then they would infect someone else, and it would infect the whole world... eventually. I didn't understand what the point was of adding more nastiness to the already unhappy world, and that if I could brighten up one persons day with the effort of a smile, then it was a generous offering, one that might be spread around the world instead.

That was a long time ago now... and I have since learned that there are deeper forces at work - behaviours related to extraverts, and non-zero-sum games etc, and as such my illusion has been partially shattered, however it's a convenient interpretation which sounds pretty and positive and nice, and it still represents what I believe. And it's related to my current problem: Writing.

It has never been my intention to cause anyone pain, see earlier idyllic story. As a writer, I enjoy expressing my ideas, hopefully positive ones, and sharing my experiences; however I was just reminded recently that it can be quite tough to be a writer, and not for all the reasons that have been explained to me previously.

They tell you that to be a writer, you need to be persistent, able to take the constant rejections, the battery of kicks in the face, and face the ever-growing competition with unrelenting self belief. But I don't remember anyone advising me to be tame in my subject choice so I wouldn't offend or annoy people. You don't get famous by being popular right? But who's gonna buy your books if no one likes you?

I was reminded that the world is full of people with different ideas, people who interpret the world from a unique point of view, and not everyone can be open and forgiving of opinions that conflict with their own viewpoint.

I was reminded that as a naive, honest and forthcoming writer, it's particularly easy to harass, hurt, inflict psychological pain, annoy, offend, attack and abuse people without intending to through the written word.

What's surprising to me is how hurtful it is to be the writer on the receiving end of someone else's negative interpretation. It can feel like a personal attack, on the choice of content, on the writing style, on the writer themselves.

This is what they must mean by developing a thick skin - but I always thought it referred to being rejected - I can handle being rejected. I don't like to think that I am offending people. That makes me feel sick to my stomach.

It can create this spiral of negativity:

Piece published, no offence intended

Writing interpreted as offensive

Reader feels awful

Reader relays back the offensive nature of the piece

Offence interpreted by the writer as personally offensive

Writer feels awful

Writer goes on rampage to offend more people... well maybe not

So what do I do now? Do I keep writing about banal topics so I can keep my readers happy? Do I have to be careful about what I say? What about being honest and saying what I think and believe? But I don't want to be stressing myself out that I have offended someone or that I will offend someone...!

So I thought some of you out there might have gone through, or be going through the same dilemma, and I wanted to share with you this piece I read from "Insight Meditation", quite fittingly on the day I myself received mild negative feedback, and it helped tremendously: here's just an excerpt.

"It's said that a man once visited the Buddha's monastery to ask questions about his teachings. The first person he saw was a monk sitting in meditation. This monk had taken a temporary vow of silence, so when the visitor questioned him, he didn't respond at all. The man stomped away, furious.

He returned the next day and encountered a monk who, as well as being highly realized, was particularly erudite and scholarly. In response to his question, the monk launched into a very elaborate theoretical discourse about the Buddha's teaching. Again, the man became furious, and left.

On his third visit, the man came upon another senior disciple of the Buddha named Ananda. Ananda had heard what had happened on the man's previous visit, so he was careful to respond, but not to say too much. The man again, flew into a rage. "How dare you teach such profound and weighty matters so sketchily?" he demanded and strode off angrily.

The monks went to the Buddha and asked him to cast some light on what had happened. The Buddha said, "If you say nothing, some people will blame you; if you say a lot, some people will blame you; if you say just a little, some people will blame you. There's always blame in this world."

That's the nature of our lives. You can probably remember, at some point in your life, having received both strong praise and strong blame for the identical action. It's inevitable.

In the constant changing climate of praise and blame, our refuge lies in an understanding of our own motivation. It means that we must be incredibly honest and sensitive to our own motivation, and to the level of skill with which we act - because that, more than anything, will reveal to us the nature of the action. What other people say may hurt or please us, but it's not an accurate reflection of our integrity."

So in future I will do my utmost to pull up my writers socks, and make a more concerted effort to establish why I'm writing what I'm writing, and if it could harm anyone, and if I feel that my motivation, and intention is good, then I'll continue.

Apologies for the length! Thanks for reading!

Fighting jealousy with hatred to reach success

2009-08-14T11:08:00.002+01:00

So I read a blog post right now, and it's happening again. It's a long post, well written, lots of comments, the content is good. And here's the problem:

I feel jealous.

Similarly it happens when I find a cool website of a company that's succeeding at doing something similar to what we are trying to do.

The internet causes such conflicting emotions, or perhaps it simply enhances those I am already experiencing. This morning I was in awe, enjoying and laughing at some videos I found on Chris Reeds blog, and this evening I am consumed with jealousy. It can be so exhausting, but I keep coming back because of the value - but is the pain worth the reward?

I find my brain quietly working out ways to undermine the blog, trying to find holes in his argument, flaws in his grammar. I am almost about to comment something mean like, "do you not think people need to come to these conclusions about these things by themselves... " but I run out of steam. I have no basis to my argument. I just need to rebuild my ego.

Recovering from sense of failure:

I read in "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert, about an experiment that was conducted to measure how long it takes to recover from criticism depending on the circumstances. He talks about the ways we adapt to something once it has happened through a variety of rationalisations that we don't foresee - through these so-called errors of imagination.

They found that the time it takes to recover is much shorter if you are judged incompetent by only one person, e.g. you fail to get offered a job after a job interview with one person; than being on the receiving end of 5 people's opinions of you being incompetent.

You do this by rationalising why those people were wrong. Maybe you internally call them idiots, decide that they wouldn't know a good employee if they saw one, or maybe they were simply having a bad day etc. And obviously it's easier to do with only one person, and so you recover quicker.

Anyway, where was I headed with this?

Jealous reaction = feel like a failure

Oh yes - so when I read other people's work, and it's pretty good, I immediately have this jealous reaction. I recognise that they are a competitor, or that they are doing better than me, and somehow I judge myself as having failed. In that jealous instant, they have succeeded, or are a step ahead of me.

Jealousy makes my brain prepare the whole give up speech, "There's no point me writing anymore because there are already so many good writers out there, I'll just go and get a job instead... blah blah blah."

I am constantly aware of this instinct, damn meditation messing with my awareness, so it's like I'm constantly being followed around by an invisible evil monster as I browse the web, who whispers, "You should have thought of this, you could have written that, why didn't you?". I need someone to send me a drawing of said menacing creature.

So my brain has to find a rational way out of this, it has to adapt otherwise I may give up - if us humans let jealousy win, none of us would ever do anything with our lives... so there has to be a safety mechanism built in, right? And I think it mine may be hatred...

Recovery Mechanism = Hatred

I'm sorry bloggers, but I have to save myself, and in order to build up my ego. I have to break you great bloggers down, otherwise I end up being jealous of you, and quitting.

So sometimes I find myself secretly hating people. I find myself poking holes in their research, attacking their personality, I convince myself they are losers, or they are full of shite... and then I generate this strong dislike for people I have never even had a conversation with. Sometimes the secret hatred progresses so far without me realising it, that I find myself not retweeting their tweets.

But then I feel guilty when I realise that I hate people that I've never met... that's a bit extreme...

But why does hatred protect me better than jealousy?

When I say jealousy, I really mean:

Envy: "a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another."

And why does hatred protect me better than envy?

Hatred: "Rebellion against good accompanied by aggression. Hatred results in annihilation."

Annihilation - now that's cool!

So I don't know what's more upsetting - the jealousy, the exhaustion from secretly carrying around all this hatred for people who only exist as words on a screen, or the guilt when I realise I hate them in the first place for no real reason, other than the protection of my own ego.

Guilt: "the state of having committed an offense."

The positive about all of this is that I am also aware of the bloggers that I really like and admire - the words on a screen that I look forward to reading, and am blind to their flaws. You guys are wonderful, inspirational, and beyond the petty rationalisations of jealousy, hatred or guilt, but unfortunately, you are generally writing out of my genre, or way above my level of expertise, she says as though she has a field of expertise :)

Conclusion = I am insane

So I reckoned I was just going insane to be honest, I still do think I am going insane. No one else can possibly be feeling what I am feeling, except... I'm human, so I can't be the only one feeling this resentment, right? How are you guys dealing with it??

Watching this video from Alain de Botton on TED, "A kinder, gentler philosophy of success," I think he put his finger on it for me, and I felt I must get some balls and write about it. It goes back to his idea that in our generation, we have this idea that anything is possible - that we can do anything we set our minds to. So it's a tough environment to be attempting to succeed in.

If we all have the potential to be the best, and be successful - however a person defines success - how do we deal with the fact that most of us are not "successful" yet? Are we failures until we are successful? What's in between?

He can explain it more eloquently than me anyhow:

How we all employ eachother

2009-08-14T11:07:00.000+01:00

Leading on from the previous article about how great employers are, I was also reminded recently how we are all the employers of others. We are all creating stable jobs for eachother.

Someone twittered recently about the guilt they felt in purchasing the Sunday Newspaper as it had probably meant the sacrifice of some poor unsuspecting tree in a distant region of the world. I twittered back that he shouldn't feel guilty because by purchasing that reworked tree, he had contributed to the employment of journalists, graphic designers, PR companies, paper manufacturers, tree cutters, reforestation experts, newsagents... the list goes on. And he wondered in turn if all those people knew he was partially employing them... probably not.

In meetforeal creating an event, I realised that we are contributing towards creating employment - both directly - e.g. paying a cameraman for a few hours work, and indirectly - e.g. renting a venue. If you think about how far the web travels, the side effects are quite impressive:

For just one event, as well as a cameraman, and a venue, we are creating news for a journalist to include in their section of the paper, we may be paying hotels (expert speakers and ourselves) to have more beds full, so they can pay their receptionist, and airlines to have one more bum in their seats (expert speaker), so they can pay their pilot; we are paying a graphic designer to design flyers, and they have paid for the software they are using (in a perfect world), which contributes to paying the programmers; we are paying a printer to make flyers, which contributes towards the cost of producing ink, and printing equipment.

Then if you are coming to the event, you may use public transport to come into town, so bus drivers are paid, and perhaps while you are in the area, you grab a sandwich in the nearby coffee shop, from the friendly waitress - that you wouldn't otherwise have done...

Ok, that's stretching the web a little far, but as you can see, the strands of the connections in all directions are endless.

I love to feel that I am contributing towards employing others, as well as employing myself, and that I am helping out in some way to reduce the negativity and spiralling events. Unfortunately for my ego, it is not only me personally, or meetforeal who are contributing, but it is all the people who participate in the event, who enable this web of employment to occur.

By us inventing the idea for an event, and by experts volunteering to come to share their experiences and ideas; by you all choosing to purchase tickets, telling your friends, coming along on the day, and participating; and by companies helping out by sponsoring the event, we are filtering the money through and all helping to keep the economy moving.

What's also great is that we have a voice, and we can all vote with our declining funds for the things we want to see survive - our favourite bistro, the cute little clothes shop on the corner, the comedian on a Wednesday night, or the meetforeal event :) and now when our money really counts, we are directly, or indirectly contributing towards supporting each other in activities that are positive.

Why I Think Employers Rock

2009-08-14T11:05:00.001+01:00

As a budding entrepreneur, one of the things that has been evoked in me recently, is a huge respect for those who create stable employment for others.

Now that I know how hard it is to generate income, how much of your life is spent thinking, dreaming, planning and measuring for the future, how difficult it is to switch off, to feel secure that there will be money in your account at the end of the month, or to know when your next holiday will be, I can see things differently.

Saying that, employers don't generally employ people for altruistic reasons - its tit for tat, and each side is serving their own interest. Hopefully, employers are creating employment through the act of doing what they love, because of a vision that they want to see come to life, so it serves in their best interest to have hard working employees willing to participate in the creation of that vision, in exchange for certain benefits. As an employer, the potential to create global impact, to have a salary larger than that of any employee and eventually the option, if successful, to take long extended breaks, is hinged on employing good people.

Self serving as it is, why do I still think it's incredible?

When I see how much dedication is required to get a company off the ground, how much time and effort is poured into a seeming bottomless pit for so long before there are signs of progress, I now have a new found admiration for the generosity that previous employers had, not only to work tirelessly on their side to ensure that the company kept running smoothly, but also for the fact that they started it in the first place. That they went through the dip, of competition, and looking for funding, and support, and help, spent time and money, and that they succeeded at developing a successful enterprise that could grow and actually support the lives and activities of others.

Their persistence to see their idea through, to take the risks and believe in their vision meant that I too could benefit.

I hope one day that I can give people stable, secure jobs to help me develop my vision and mission, and in turn enable them to start work at 9, and leave at 5, and to bitch about me, occasionally.

Leading on from this, it occurred to me that we are all the employers of others, and, at the same time, all employees. More on that tomorrow.

How I hate sharing.... grrrr

2009-08-02T22:47:00.002+01:00

I have had a shocking insight recently into the big bad world of owning your own business. It's insane to watch how people jump on the bandwagon whenever you start something - they all want a piece of it.
jumping on the bandwagon.

The amount of frustration that it evokes in me is insanely out of proportion - I feel like I've done all the work, creating something out of nothing, starting something that was just a brief idea in my head, giving it food and water, and time and effort, and watching it grow into an actual thing I can touch, something real, and credible, and happening... and then suddenly, all these people want to get in on it.

In one way it's entirely frustrating - I feel like telling the world to get the f*ck off my land - while they were sitting in the sunshine reading a book, I was out tending the crops, and now my crops are ready, all these stragglers are arriving to help me harvest! It's like - piss off - I did all the hard work!!

At the same time, I have to calm myself, because sharing is so important, collaboration, working together to make something better... and realistically, if people pitch in, we will be able to gather enough food to satisfy everyone, and if I don't get their help, then I can't harvest all the crops alone, and I won't get the full potential out of it.

So I guess this is how the world works... but grrrr nonetheless... I'm selfish! It's a hard lesson for us young entrepreneurs!

Ellens simplistic version of cancer=ireland in a recessopm

2009-07-27T16:31:00.002+01:00

I had a wonderful conversation with a taxi driver in Dublin recently, as you do, on the state of our country. I was asking him how the mindset is in Dublin, not living there myself, and how the doom and gloom is affecting people.

During the course of our conversation, it hit me how much a recession is like that awful period in between getting diagnosed with a life threatening illness, and making a decision on a treatment plan, from my own experience.

Previously, I couldn't see why we were so stuck in a rut. Why we couldn't just seem to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get moving, get positive, get to changing things for the better. Now I think I know why...

I know there are companies, and organisations, and people in Ireland who are all attempting to protect themselves from the infectious state of our negative media and their ever darkening pessimism; to keep on trying, keep on pushing, keep on working towards an eventual solution. But as for the majority...

After my enlightening conversation, I think the solution is clear:

Cancer: You think you are fine, healthy, but you find a lump.
Doctor tells you it's nothing.
You want to believe everything's ok. You are not sick.

Country: Rumours circle that something is wrong, people ignore it.
Keep on buying houses, keep on building houses...
Everyone wants to believe everything's ok. The crisis is not a crisis.

Cancer: Lump gets bigger.
You get it checked out again, it doesn't look good -
Panic sets in - how big is the problem?
Must get some tests...

Country: More people start saying that the world is going to end...
Banks buckle under the pressure.
Can't hide it anymore - how big is this problem?
The country gets some tests...

Cancer: You are told, it's in your breast, you have to get it removed, but once that's done, you'll most likely be fine.
Personal sacrifice = solution.

Country: The banks are screwed, but they just need x amount of a bailout, and that should solve it.
Little bit of tax payers money being wasted = solution.

Cancer: So you have the operation - and you feel good, tests show everything's fine.
But you have suspicions... you start to feel more lumps around your neck - that's not good.
You head back to the doctor - get more tests.

Country: So banks are bailed out - everything is good..
But then the banks seem to need more money, looks like the financial problems of the country won't be solved with a quick fix.
Need to investigate more.

Cancer: They find, low and behold, a whole cancerous system in your chest that is inoperable.

Shit.

Prognosis:
Doomed.

Possible solutions?:
Chemotherapy = losing hair, losing weight, puking, low immune system, low energy = suffering
Radiation = long term damage, potential secondary cancers caused, sore skin, everyday treatment = suffering
Or both.

Will it be enough? Probably not- you'll probably need more, and more and more.

Action plan: Check it on the internet, read all sorts of opinions, educate myself on the disease.

Results?:
Determine the doctor's decisions to be wrong - they should have checked my neck first, they should have done the scan first, the first doctor should have noticed it, they say too much chemotherapy, they say too little chemotherapy...

How I felt?:
Fearful, panic stricken, helpless, out of control.

Country: You know the deal.

Prognosis:
Doomed.

Possible solutions?:
Cut backs = less money, fewer jobs, more poverty, less services, more sadness = whole population will suffer
Higher Taxes = less money, fewer jobs, more poverty, less services, more sadness = whole population will suffer
Will it be enough? Who knows?

Action plan: Check it on the internet, what happened in the past, educate ourselves on the country's finances... we are all experts.

Results?:
We determine the politician's decisions to be wrong - they should have blah blah blah...

How we feel?:
Collectively:
Fearful, panic stricken, helpless, out of control.

So here we are - stuck in that awful moment between diagnosis and action plan.

What do we do? What's the best route to take? What if we make the wrong decision? What if it just keeps getting worse? Will it spread? Will I lose my job too? Will my lungs be affected as well? My liver? If we wait too long to treat, will it get worse? Who can help us?

With cancer, it's glorious to be able to put big decisions in the hands of your doctor - someone who knows better - that you can trust to try his/her best, so you can concentrate on making your life the best it can be under the circumstances.

With our country, we need someone to step up and say they are the "doctor", and that they will try to fix us. That we can put our trust in them.

With an action plan in place, even if it consists of a long path of suffering in order to attain ultimate release, it's a blessing, because then we can start the process of pulling together, working together and getting on with it. It would be nice to be finally doing something to get better. Sitting and waiting and panicking in fear is shit.

Out of all pain comes growth, and learning and huge change, change for the better, change for the smarter, and change that impacts the long term, that inevitably makes life much much better for all of us.

But with no such doctor figure, we all seem to be in limbo, waiting for someone to take action. I can handle suffering if I know it's for an eventual solution, but waiting in fear and panic is worse than any chemotherapy. So could our politicians please do something, to try to regain our trust and to give us an action plan please?!

Jack of all trades or master of one?

2009-07-08T13:07:00.003+01:00

I am reminded of a post I wrote about mutantspace.ie, where you can donate a few hours of your time per week in what you are good at, to get other resources in return, and I was faced with the question : "What am I good at?".

With the recession kicking, I refuse to indulge in its negative connotations, however it does bring up the question in all of our minds - that if someone has lost their job, or their company, that was developed through years of struggle, on the way to earning expert status in a particular field, do they have to fuckinhg start at the bottom again?

I bet they are left wondering: "What am I good at?" or more likely: "What will someone pay me to do?" How depressing to find yourself at the bottom of the heap again, at the back of the race.

I'm still no further down this personal line of inquiry, and the impatience is making me weary, the frustration of having to wait, and work, and be determined, and be passionate, and do what I love is wearing me down. I am impatient to be an expert. Especially since what I am working towards being an expert at seems to alter daily, and then I'm constantly back at square one - 10,000 hours (according to Malcolm Gladwell) from expert status.

It's all envy, envy of people who are Tai chi teachers and can hold tai chi classes on Kilkee beach (Tues & Thurs at 10a.m - 12 if you're interested); envious of people who have meditated for years on end, and have reached clarity of mind, envious of those who have published books and have a smooth stream of income, envious of people who are successful chefs, or entrepreneurs, even those people who have a large following on twitter, I envy.

Perhaps it's the stage I am at in life, that stage where it seems like everyone around me is an expert. That or I'm just having a bad week.

It feels like I'm always playing catch up, and I'm not the only one - there are short cuts advertised everywhere for mugs like us - Bill Harris of Holosync claims you can reach the mental level of a person who has meditated for 20 years in only a few months; slow starters to twitter are tempted to cut corners by following links the promise: "Get 400 followers on twitter here". Why are we always trying to catch up on those random few who managed to invest their time in a noble cause right from the start, or so it seems, and now the "gap" between them and us just widens into an expanse so great that we dare not begin the journey because we know who has already won the race.

It doesn't help that we are running events that surround experts - these illusive people who we pay to see, to hear their story of how they did it - how they managed to get through the frustration and emerge, triumphant.

But is there a day when you turn around and say, "Now, I'm officially an expert"? Or is there always someone ahead of you?

I think most of us pay to see these experts to be inspired, to keep our heads above water, and to be reminded that it is possible, but it takes time. However there is a tiny part of our brains that listens to the expert's life story with a hint of delirium, we perk up our ears, gullible and hopeful fools, waiting for that one expert to turn around and say - you know, it wasn't a lot of hard work and persistence, it wasn't 10 years of working nonstop with determination, and drive, and consistency and never giving up. I just woke up one day, and I had made it.

But why does our society reward people who are masters in the first place? Instead of a jack of all trades? Why do we revere people who are at the top of a single tree of expertise, in the middle of a forest of knowledge?

What I listen for now, hopeful, gullible Ellen is for the expert to say, "I liked lots of different things, and it turns out, I was rewarded for never choosing only one or two. Now a lot of people pay me just to be me."

I don't want to be a master of just one area. I think the world has so much more to offer than sticking your head in one particular topic and following it for a lifetime. It's easier, (is it?) to just be a Biomedical Engineer for instance, and work your way to the top... but when you're at the top, what then? With the world opening up, and knowledge so readily available, it becomes almost absurd to concentrate all your energy on just one theme.

So instead of trying to follow the common rules of society which state that you need to be a master of one thing, how boring is that! I am going to buck the curve, (to make myself feel better) and open up to the possibility of the alternative which is being interested in, and average at, a lot of things. I am now officially a master at not being a master. So hands up who'll pay me for that? ;)

Why do we like the things we like?

2009-07-03T17:14:00.004+01:00

Why do I think horse riding is dull, and surfing is cool? Why do I alert my eyes from anything remotely related to politics in the newspapers, or change the radio station when a song I don't like comes on? I would say change the channel on television as well, but we don't have tv, so that saves me the effort of wondering. Why do we stick to the things we like, and avoid the things we dislike? Is that a stupid question? It seems silly when I read back over it - of course we would avoid the things we dislike - why would we purchase a dress that makes us look like a badly drawn avatar, or biscuits that taste like rotten tomatoes, if we could picture our dressed up selves on the cover of magazines and delight our tastebuds with tongue tingling, chocolate coated cookies? It's obvious, isn't it?

But what about with activities, or jobs? What makes us dislike.... ummm.... programming for instance, and love.... writing? No personal opinions being voiced here, she says, clearing her throat.

I walked into an event related with film making in the Belltable recently, with Clare Creely of FilmBase. She was discussing the various programs that are available for aspiring film makers to find funds for their fantasy film - RTE competitions, Irish Film Board etc. She was explaining all the intricacies of getting funding, how you first need to have your film screened at one of the multitude of film festivals that showcase filmmakers work. This is a film that you manage to make with... what money? I wondered. I thought it was hard for writers - sure everyone wants to be a writer these days, or is a writer should I say, with blogs and twitter posts coming out of people's nostrils, but film making, now that brought me to a whole new level of respect for what these aspiring artists have to go through in order to become seen and be successful. Because unlike blogging, and wiling away the hours in your parents garage on the dole writing endless reams of chapters for potential publication, making a film requires other people, and equipment which ain't cheap. You need actors, and a director and a production crew, and a camera man, and.... low and behold, it all started to sound tremendously exciting this filmmaking lark. Knowing only how to rent a film, download a film, which I would never do by the way, purchase a film and watch a film, this was all news to me. That it can take over a year to produce a single short film, shocking! That you are competing with hundreds of other entrants to competitions for a shot at pennies to help you pay for the equipment, how unfair! That you are inevitably on a long, dreary, depressingly distant road to success, fighting off your fellow believers for the pot of gold at the end of the journey with only a shabby second-hand camera that someone was kind enough to leave you when they renounced the calling, that you can't use as a weapon until you win a prize at an overcrowded competition that will perhaps, when you are 55, generously reward you with enough cash for a new one.

As difficult as it all sounded, she then proceeded to show us some successful short films made by Irish film makers, and I realised - it's possible. It sounds pretty impossible, but people have gotten funding, people are making films, and although the funding has decreased, and the people entering the field are increasing, which means it will get even more difficult I would imagine... the fact remains that there are people who get through that Dip as Seth Godin would call it, and find their pot of gold, which is not so illusive after all. Now why anyone would want to torture themselves by wanting to be a filmmaker in the first place when they can get a job after university that actually pays real money, that you can exchange for those delicious cookies we talked about earlier, is probably as baffling as why anyone would want to put themselves up against the multitude of writers out there, or the multitude of websites, again, no personal opinions here...

Sometimes I wonder who are worse off - the people who want to be film makers, and who are passionate about it, or those who don't know what they want to be, and spend a lifetime trying to figure it out.

So why did I know nothing about film making, and never even give it a second thought? It's not that I even thought it was boring, I didn't feel anything about it, I didn't even know it existed, she says, an avid film watcher not knowing that there is an industry called film making.

I watch those credits after films and I am just baffled at the amount of people required to create a film, and not only that, the organisation of all of those people... wow. It's as though all I could see was gigantic, established organisations that put films on discs in some technologically advanced factory somewhere; they get shipped out by DHL in slim space saving boxes, with pretty pictures, and I promptly pay money to rent them, or buy them, and eventually watch them. Someone makes a lot of money, and they entertain a lot of people. Done. Or did. Now I know more... enough to know that I officially like film making, even though I don't do film making...

Which brings me back to wondering why we like the things that we like; and not the things that we don't? I want to find out more about these worlds that exist without me even registering their existence, the things I don't even know enough about to like, or dislike, but how do you learn about something that you can't see? Wandering into events not targeted at me seems to be a good place to start - and anyone thinking of doing just that, can come along to our event with Stuart Kershaw in Dublin on July 18th - had to get a plug in there somewhere! If you don't know anything about film making, or adventure sports, and don't know why you don't like or dislike them, come along, you might find you like something.

Self Esteem

2009-07-01T19:37:00.001+01:00

Does it really benefit you to have unyielding belief in yourself? Obviously if you feel good about yourself, your quality of life must be pretty high. But in terms of success... I would have thought that the higher your self esteem, the higher your achievement in life. That if you believe indiscriminately in your ability to do something, then that will lead you to go out and achieve it, where a person with less self esteem would falter, and be too unsure of themselves to take the next step.

In an article by Jonah Lehrer today, Self Esteem, it turns out that the better you feel about yourself does not translate directly into actual academic achievement:

"Self-esteem has gone up in the United States; achievement has not. If anything, compared with other countries, we have done worse, but our kids feel really good about themselves on average."

Now academic achievement and achievement in life are two very different things, and how do you even define achievement in life these days - everyone has different measures for success - but it will be interesting to see where these kids they are following end up in life.

It's quite a liberating discovery if in fact self esteem is not critical to success. It's painful to constantly question your own abilities and wonder when the world will finally see through your feigned attempts to brush over inadequacies.... I remember Padraig O'Morain's article about just this topic - The Common Experience of Feeling Like an Imposter... but if you knew that the low self esteem and consequent fear of rejection and failure are not necessarily detrimental to your ability to success, then you can go on and feel them in... comfort, I guess.

Those "kicks in the face", thanks Maura for the terminology, that we struggling writers are constantly on the receiving end of, must feel like... generous helpings of praise? How does that work?

I suppose having blind faith in an ability that may not exist can lead to embarrassing outcomes. That must be the reason for those deluded people who enter The X Factor, Pop Idol, or You're a Star, singing completely out of tune. I always wondered what was going on there...

I suppose just because you think you are good at something, doesn't necessarily make it true, but how much happier would you be if you had blind ignorance :)

Have you become your own worst employer?

2009-06-30T16:44:00.001+01:00

When you leave a 9-5 job, it seems obvious that you can now embrace a new you. You can relinquish the classic structure and etiquette typical of a worker bee in a corporate environment and be finally free. You are free to grow dreadlocks, or shave your head, you can get piercings in all sorts of visible places, or big dirty tattoos, why not? (Why all of the associations of freedom are based on this clichéd image are not something to be proud of, but there you go...) However, unless you have a deep desire to damage or inflict pain on your body, or hair for that matter, in order to prove to yourself, or anyone else, that you are now an entrepreneur, this may not be the correct course of action for you.

You could express your own individual personality and style through following fashion trends of your own choosing, instead, right? Not having to worry about what your employer or fellow workers would deem suitable now that you run the show, you can be free to express your own true style and identity. However, it may come to your attention that the image of the new company that you are bringing into existence has its own identity, and its one that you need to impart to the world, fashionably, in order for it to be successful. It may only represent part, but not all of who you are; it may even hold a personality of a particularly distinct category. Do you now find yourself being in a sense, your own “employer” and imparting certain traditions and rules to the clothes that you now deem suitable for [insert your company name here].

So not being able to quite clearly be who you are with body art, or indeed through fashion choices, you may think that at the very least, you can be honest in your writing; you can be free of the shackles imposed by previous employers who controlled the way in which you expressed your ideas and thoughts on paper. Remember the manner of speaking in emails, documents and proposals in industry, all formalised and following a regulated structure and format. Yuck!

But has it occurred to you to take a look at what you are writing these days, or should I say, how you are writing? Is there an air of, dare I say, regulated structure and formal phrasing? Any

“Dear esteemed sir,

Please find attached the proposal that we heretofore discussed on the telephone.

Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me at your leisure if this would be something that you would like to consider.

Thanking you kindly in advance for your highly valued contributions,

With kind regards” kind of malarkey?

Who are you becoming? This is not supposed to be happening now that you are “free”, remember?! What happened to illusions of emails with,

“Hi stevie,
Here’s that doc we chatted about earlier. Get back to me if you like it, if not, your loss!
Later,”

Where is the right balance you may ask? Honesty in writing can be dangerous, if you are telling people to fuck off on a regular basis, even if that’s what you do indeed feel like saying, you may never make any money...

Seriously though, if you write with too much structure, and prevent emotion from flowing freely through your words, if you dress too much for success and cover up the body art to fit into your idea of the identity of your company, then you risk hiding your passion and enthusiasm for [insert company name here], and you may never be able to attract “the people who care” to your ideas for change.

It takes guts to show the true you, and I remember to respect those who are following their own rhythm in life, saying who the fuck cares. I am listening hard to my own advice here, the message lies behind the humour, somewhere.

All ideas presented here are fiction and do not in anyway represent the opinions of the writer...

Dreaming of paid time off and learning holidays in the sun

2009-06-29T17:04:00.004+01:00

Damn Gary Quinn and his surf board toting article in the Irish Times. Is he paid by the Irish Times to take such a holiday, or is he sponsored by eurolanguages.com, both of whom benefit from his Spanish in the surf? What a perfect job, and why don't I have it? His magical tale wraps itself around my brain, like a boa constrictor, threatening to squish my happiness and delusion in my own day to day life. A week in Spain eating glorious Spanish food, taking afternoon siestas, and lapping up the lessons in the surf, while learning a language sounds utterly sublime as I sit mired in to-do lists that never seem to get any shorter. The break sounds utterly delicious, and I am wracking my brains trying to figure out how I can build a business that will enable me to take the time off and indeed pay for such an adventure... today.

I check out the website recommended, and torture myself looking at French packages with cooking lessons attached. "The reviews are all so positive," I notice, "and they are so cheap, especially considering what you are gaining."

Clicking on a link where I am shown the registration fee that wasn't included in the original price, I hear the voice in my head wavering a little, "Even if they do add on a whopping registration fee, and aren't including the cost of food or accommodation... these things will sort themselves out..."

Who am I kidding? Deluded I must be as I have neglected to remember that I am bordering on a vegan and I can't think of anything worse than seeing all that cream, cheese and butter not to mention meat, being used in French delicacies that I can't sample. Obviously the article has found a part of my brain that has no logic, and imbedded itself so deeply that reality has gone out the window.

What happened to my idea of living in the now, in the moment, not needing to buy things or be a "consumer".

I resigned from my job a couple of weeks ago, convinced that the business idea that we had, www.meetforeal.com, was strong enough, is strong enough, to create jobs for both myself and my partner. Although I still believe this to be true, it sometimes breaks my heart to see how long the road is ahead, and how tough it's going to be to get through the Seth Godin "Dip" and into the land of "scarcity creating value", when our events will effortlessly pull in both the sponsors and the punters. I know that day exists, but how far away it is I cannot measure, and until I can see it in my sights, its saliva drooling, logic out the window dreaming for me, and a matter of postponing all those learning holidays in the sun until a future date... Just another to-do list for me to monitor.

Are you an extravert or an introvert?

2009-06-29T17:02:00.001+01:00

Reading Dorothy Rowe's book "Dorothy Rowe's Guide to life" changed the way I see the world. For anyone who hasn't heard her theories, I'll try and explain my favourite one.

She reckons that we are all either introverts, or extraverts. Not extrovert but extravert, with an 'a' (brings up memories of explaining meetforeal, with one 'r':-)).

Before I explain the difference, let me just clarify that apart from this initial identification which she perceives to be a determined characteristic, she then goes on to say that the secret of life is that we are capable of changing anything in our lives. That it is our specific set of beliefs, and the meaning structure which we have developed, unique to each individual, that shapes our view of the world around us, and this structure can be changed by allowing ourselves to see the structure itself, and step outside of it.

This links in nicely with the event we are holding in a couple weeks for anyone who is interested in thinking, and awareness, and how we can change the way we see the world, and the difficulties we perceive that we face... more details here; but anyway, I'll stop waffling and get to the point!

Introverts and extraverts can have the same external results: in this simple exercise you can see that Mary feels it's important for her to be on time for meetings, but when you do the ladder exercise, you can see that depending on her reasons behind the act, she shows whether she is an introvert or an extravert. So it's the reasons behind WHY you do something, not necessarily the behaviour itself.

Let me do the ladder exercise.

So Mary likes being on time for meetings, she feels its important.

Interviewer: "Why?"

Mary: "Because I don't want to be late"

Interviewer: "But why don't you want to be late?"

Mary: "Because I want to get the most out of the meeting, be fresh and alert and not stressed"

Interviewer: "And why is it important for you not to be stressed?"

Mary: "Because then I can achieve my best."

Interviewer: "Why is it important for you to achieve your best?"

Mary: "Because it's important for me to achieve my best!"

This is where the ladder may run out... and if it does, it can be said that Mary may be an introvert: she experiences her sense of existence as achieving.

If however Mary continues and says:

Mary: "Because it's important to me that the people at the meeting see me at my best, and have the best possible opinion of me."

Interviewer: "So is it important that others see you at your best?"

Mary: "Yes, of course."

Here, Mary shows that she may be an extravert, that she experiences her sense of existence as being in relationship to other people.

Introvert:Experiencing your sense of existence as developing, organizing clarifying, achieving; seeing the threat of the annihilation of your existence as disorder, mess and chaos.

Extravert:Experiencing your sense of existence as being in relationship to other people; seeing the threat of annihilation of your existence as rejection and abandonment.

An Introvert will be more inclined to doubt his/her external reality e.g. feeling of not really being there.

An Extravert will be more inclined to doubt his/her internal reality e.g. sense of loss of self.

This is because the Introvert listens more to their internal reality, while the Extravert listens more to their external reality.

An Introverts idea of being alone is of themselves on an empty planet.
An Extraverts idea of being alone is of being isolated and often rejected.

An Introvert's ultimate aim is personal achievement.
An Extravert's ultimate aim is good relationships.

An Introvert will leave a group of people because they feel over-stimulated.
An Extravert will leave a group of people because they fear rejection.

However, as I mentioned, being an introvert, or extravert can have similar results externally. And depending on how good you feel about yourself, can alter how you express this part of yourself.

Obviously, this is a short, very simplistic, explanation, but if you find it interesting, she has written books on the subject.

She says that in almost every couple, there is an introvert and an extravert, even though initially it may seem like both of you are one or the other.

So I found that I am an extravert, which seemed initially odd to me, because that means Adrian is the introvert, yet he is the one holding "talking to strangers" workshops, but it's obvious that he pushes himself to achieve these things as he feels they are important in his life.

And on further investigation, I remember writing this diary entry, below, over 6 months ago, and after reading it, I know I am an extravert! That combined with the fact that I struggled to write this because its important for me to please my readers, and I don't want to turn you against Dorothy Rowes writing because of something I have mentioned here!! But anyhow, here's some of my journal, maybe it will resonate with some of you extraverts, and if it doesn't, I guess you are an introvert... :-)

By the way why is this important you may ask?

Because she says that for introverts, it's important that they have something in their lives through which they can fulfil their requirement for a sense of achievement; and for extraverts, it's important that they have a close network of people who they can feel identified with, who support them and love them. So its something to keep in mind.

My diary:

I was cycling home today from work, and it just occurred to me. What if I had no where to go? And why do I need to get home so badly anyhow? Do I have something pressing to do? I know that when I get home, I will wonder what to do next. And if I had no home to go to, no destination in mind, what would I do? Where would I go?

I suppose we fight our whole lives not to have to have the sensation of not having a home to go to. Except people who are homeless and choose to be. Perhaps I will one day find our their reasoning behind it. Or the travelling community, or gypsies, who spend their whole lives moving from one point to the next. However they have a home, their caravan.

As the world is becoming globalised, for the first time we do have the choice of not going home, of not going to work, of taking a flight and just arriving with no destination in mind, no hotel booked. All you need is money and perseverance and a lot of balls.

That, coupled with the new sensation of meeting new people, new faces everyday, means that the world we live in is drastically different from that which we evolved in. And as such, these sensations are both petrifying and incredibly satisfying. Meeting new people leaves you with a temporary buzz, and the act of stepping out of your comfort zone to even spend a few days in another country, far from home, is tempting enough to keep a number of huge businesses ticking over.

But what if we were to only meet new people. And what if we were to never settle down. What if that holiday became a life, and the movement ensured that you never met the same person enough times to get to know them. That would be isolation of the highest order. People do it. Jobs are the main reason why, but there are others who seek such isolation, and after a number of years of this behaviour, the people they knew in a place called "Home" either move on, or die away, and the language attached to the birthplace become meddled with the languages of current destinations, and there no longer is a home to go back to.

I wonder what that feels like. Just the thought of not having a destination after I'm finished work causes my heart to beat a little faster. I can't imagine what it would be like to be without a home on this earth.

I often seek isolation, avoiding my workmates in order to have lunch alone. I take it outside or I deliberately go at a time when I know they will be busy. And I enjoy it. That time when I am alone, free to do as I wish. No conversations to attempt, no small talk to create, I am satisfied and comfortable.

But after a few days of isolating lunches, I realise that I am out of the loop, I have no friends at work, no one to talk to, no one to tell my news to. I have no small talk to make as I have spent so much time by myself that they don't open up to me, and I am lost in conversations. So those few moments I steal to spend alone have repercussions beyond measure. And yet I still delight in them. The forbidden act, which I know is all the more forbidden now because it is not a productive behaviour.

And as I cycle home, I know that I can stray off the path, I can bypass home and go into town, there is nothing stopping me. But somehow there is a sensation that it is wrong. And that emptiness fills me as I realise that if I do not go home, that there is no reason to be here. Is there a meaning to life if you have no home to go to? If you have no people to talk to? If you have no one who knows you, loves you or misses you?

Forum Bullies

2009-06-29T17:01:00.000+01:00

Forums are scary places. I know they are a way that people can communicate based on common interests, but for newbies, they can be dangerous places. On a recent attempt to post details about an event we were holding, I had the sensation that I was an uninvited guest to a buzzing party. The reactions I got to my post were immediate and threatening, as if the long standing posters on the forum were marking their territory, peeing all around it, showing me their fangs from the sidelines, and telling me to back off.

It's funny how people behave as though they are in a different world online - a world where manners don't need to be upheld because people are anonymous. Without the addition of facial expression or tone of voice, so much can be hurtful and misunderstood. Why does this "freedom" to write and say whatever you want to say appear so different from communication in real life encounters? I have never felt such complete and utter disregard for the effort we are making, or the work we are putting in at face to face contact - only online have I felt such aggressive, negative language, so quick to put down, to judge.

There's a different set of rules for forum playgrounds, and the bullies are evident, some stacking up a whopping 6 months, 12 hours a day worth of posts (I calculated) - an embarrassing amount of their lives on these places - dishing out criticism as though their opinions represent those of the masses, their fear at a newcomer evident in their immediate derisive language.

With so many forums popping up all over the place, with little or no moderation evident, is it time to look at the ways we communicate, and why we feel that it's acceptable to spend so much of our lives speaking to one another in such an anti social manner? Or do we simply need to weed out the bullies on these forums and remind them that newcomers, like newcomers to a party, should not be immediately judged, stared at and whispered about, deemed different and an outsider, but welcomed, and introduced to everyone, with an open mind and a smile of recognition at how hard it can be to walk into a room full of strangers, online or in real life.

Waiting Rooms

2009-06-29T16:55:00.001+01:00

Is it just me or do waiting rooms give you the jitters?

Waiting in Government funding offices, clutching your recently printed reformatted, readjusted, rewritten business plan in sweaty hands, practising the words of your carefully crafted presentation that tumble and stick in your brain, waiting to see if you are accepted or rejected. Sucked in or spit out.

Hospital waiting rooms, surrounded by crying families, sniffling children and day time television, expecting results from two-week old studies that involved numerous blood sucking and technologically baffling swivelling apparatus that have the capacity to tell you your fate. Waiting to see if, according to the experts, you will live to see another day, or if you have to endure yet more of the same painful procedures before you will know the truth.

Waiting for a job interview, watching the other applicants exit with smiles on their faces, and sweat patches encircling the underarms of their once pristine interview outfits. Waiting to see if your job experience, and your personality, is enough to beat all of the others.

What has somehow come to pass is that the negative associations of waiting rooms have now been transferred in my brain to the simple act of waiting in a room, regardless of the situation. Perhaps it is now inbuilt in the act of sitting on a comfortable couch, overseen by a receptionist, surrounded by boring, germ ridden magazines. Even when the outcomes are slightly less important, with less of the unexpected nature about them - if my hair will still be manageable for instance - with none of the pressure, none of the life changing consequences that are attached to other scenarios, I still feel my body contract, screaming - "get me out of here!"

Next time I am meeting with one of you for some reason or another, I have one request - please don't keep me waiting :)

Ellen

Grounded in Time

2009-06-29T16:53:00.002+01:00

I'm just back from walking in the Spanish Countryside for 8 days on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. This time we walked from St Jean Pied de Port to Pamplona; and from Logrono to Burgos. 8 days in total. The camino is something that is quite unusual to be described as a holiday activity. It seems a crazy endeavour - to participate in a gruelling experience that can only be described as painful and challenging, all to reach the distance that a 2 hour bus journey would cover. It is evident after a few hours of pain that walking is not the most efficient or effective means of transportation!

I'm trying to think of what I learned. Every day there was a new lesson, but apart from patience, and tenacity, finding new pain thresholds, and self belief to continue and reach my goal, I think that coming home after doing the walk I find myself much more grounded in time.

Starting your own company is so difficult. People envy the idea of working for yourself - your own hours, your own ideas, your own expectations, and your own dreams, but in reality, although the magic is there, it can be a whirlwind of never-ending to do lists, stressful self-inflicted deadlines and it feels like it will take forever to reach your destination.

After walking for 7-8 hours a day, my minds complete and utter intoxication with "work" and the excitement I feel everyday on encountering problems and identifying possibilities began to lose its stickiness, and gradually I was released from its sucking grip. I remembered what it was like to not have meetforeal on my mind 24 hours a day.

On coming home, I am pleased to find that I have learned something about work from my long hours on the road. I've learned that as long as you have a destination in mind, and self belief that you can get there, you can make it, and when exactly you get there does not necessarily matter. Of course it's nice to have a deadline, and expectations, but if you just keep walking, you will arrive.

Sometimes you have someone beside you, sometimes you're alone; sometimes it's up hills, sometimes the ground is muddy, or stony, sometimes all you can feel is pain, foot pain, knee pain, ankle pain, hip pain, hunger, dizziness, heavy bag pain; sometimes you feel like you won't make it, can't make it, don't want to make it anyway, and then the ground levels out or you reach a bench near a fountain and you can catch your breath. Sometimes it's raining, sometimes the heat of the sun bears down on you and fills you with energy and light, sometimes it takes all your energy away.

You have to deal with naysayers, people who moan along the road beside you, who want to quit, and want you to quit, who say you can't make it, who don't have the same vision, and you have to leave them behind. You have to be with your own pain, your own heavy bag, your own feet and your own struggle, as each has their own.

And it's the people you meet, the places you visit, but the people you see them with that make every step worthwhile, every ounce of pain measurable against joy, and every inch of agony a step in the right direction.

The camino is like having a company, and walking along a long road to reach the destination that you have determined as being your goal, your milestone, your Santiago. Our Santiago was Burgos this time, with only 8 days to walk, and reaching Burgos was every bit as important as people walking for 30 days to reach Santiago de Compostela.

It reminded me that in reality, there is never enough time in life to do all of the things that we want to do, and yet at the same time, there is all the time in the world. That not everything can be done now, today; we can't reach our destination without walking there, step by step. Sometimes it feels like the steps are tiny, minuscule in fact, that no one would even notice the effort involved to travel such short distances, sometimes it can seem as though we are standing still, but then one day, you look back over the hills and trees, and you see just how far you've come.

So it is with renewed strength that I tackle my everyday tasks, without stress, with the knowledge that there will always be time enough to finish them, but that no matter how much time I have, there will never be enough.

Potential investors and peppermint tea, days to remember

2009-06-29T16:50:00.001+01:00

Running a company is such a rollercoaster. No day, no moment is the same. From potential investors with 8 million to invest sitting in front of you, to psychology questionnaires and free peppermint tea in coffee shops, with a stranger leaning over to try and steal answers, the noticing of a foreign accent creating easy conversation. Met a lovely man who commented on my teeth - apparently my mother was a very healthy woman when she had me.

But getting back to the investment opportunity - you never know who you are talking to in this world. People are full of surprises, some moderately good, sometime nasty, and sometimes, very rarely, they are eye opening, sparkling juicy ones that pull you tightly to your seat, pour adrenaline through your veins and retain the moment firmly in the present, forcing you to contain dreams for the future and blessings of the past in suspension... which is good... great actually, that life can be so bursting with energy in the present, that you can forget to worry or plan, or even attempt to construct an idea of the future that tomorrow will bring, because each encounter you have now, means that you idea of tomorrow will never come to pass.

The reality we construct, if only it could be as wondrous, always, as these unexpected meetings and chance encounters.

It's all about being remarkable, asking for what's not apparently on offer and taking the next step, a step that can sometimes seem so easy, too easy, so that no one takes it, or seems so difficult that no one dares. But by daring to step, by daring to be different, or by daring to just be yourself and open to the possibilities that the random nature of life brings, your life can be so full of "life".

I go back to my original notion - that its human, face-to face encounters that capture the essence of life, the interactions on a real level with people in your environment, the random nature of people who float in their own unique bubbles of meaning structure, bumping off of each other, opening up to exchange a little of the air pressure inside. We all benefit and change by the encounters, and exchanges, and without them, we are alone, isolated, unchanged, unaltered, not necessarily unhappy, but not enthused with the different ways of seeing the world that others perspectives bring. Some cause change in tiny amounts, some in huge life altering exchanges, but all of them worth it.

Brad Sugars & Action Coach, Limerick

2009-04-01T12:09:00.005+01:00

My head is swollen after 3 hours of a concrete sales pitch from Brad Sugars last night in Thomond Park, Limerick. What a wonderful setting to sell yourself as a business coach, feeding off the recent rugby success which occurred with, conveniently, a new coach on the sidelines.

His goal is to have a business coach for every business, and with just 300 businesses in Ireland availing of his coaches planted in Action Coach offices around the country, there’s a lot of opportunity for ActionCoach in Ireland. Selling his franchises at 100k a pop, it’s wasn’t only us business people that he was selling to.

I don’t doubt that business coaching works. And by god if we could learn how to sell like he did last night, we too would be millionaires. Such techniques, such passion, telling stories and anecdotes with the pure benefits of what coaching can bring you built in. He retired for the first time at age 26, and again when he had young kids, this time for 4 whole years before he got bored.

Can you ring up your people and say “I’m not coming to work for the next 6 months,” and have your business run without you? Have you thought about the fact that there are only 4000 weeks in one life if you live to be 80? “How many of those are you willing to waste?” he asked. I am going to do what he recommended - buy marbles to represent each of the weeks I have left, and put them in a jar, so I can throw one out each week...

He made me gag with envy, wanting what he’s got. I think 90% of us would have given anything to know what he knows, in order to have what he has.

In the heat of the moment, it wasn’t just envy making our blood boil with passion to buy whatever it was he was selling. He was so generous, giving massive bundles of value, teaching us how to make a difference in our businesses, for “FREE”. It endeared us to him. He connected with us. He expressed empathy, and he showed higher value, higher status, and all of those things that Adrian mentioned in his own talk at Bizcamp in Limerick. Free was not all free, as he had our undivided attention and put us in a vulnerable emotional state to better hammer home the message that we can all succeed to this magnitude with a coach by our side.

So good a salesman he was, that by the end of the evening I was convinced that meetforeal needed a business coach, and that we could afford one at a measly 3000 euro a month, no problem, because you see – “they earn their fee…”

With the audience members primed for purchase, full of offers of free alignment and the heartfelt request to order now before this offer runs out, his team of action coaches, perched around the sidelines of the 500 strong audience, reeled us in. Standing out in their red ties, they collected their prey, eager, converted leads in a heighty emotional state... easy money.

We stayed until the last of the milling around was done, and caught a glimpse of the Action Coaches going back to their leader for a debriefing session. I could see a sheath of grey tentacles unwrap from underneath his 8000 euro suit, of which he made sure to tell us earlier was one of six that he had purchased in one sitting. As they attached to each Action Coach red tie, their bodies went limp, their faces blank and lifeless. His tall Australian body curled into a ball, his voice dropped to low hum as his true alien form emerged...

Perhaps that last bit was not real... but I wouldn’t have been surprised!

Great News!!!

2009-03-26T09:27:00.002Z

Hi all we manage to publish an Article in the Galway Advertiser for our meetforeal talk tomorrow with Sarah O'toole. We are excited about this because, well this paper publishes 70,000 copies around Galway county. Is just exciting go http://www.advertiser.ie/galway/article/10067

Wahoo! Its up and running!

2009-01-28T20:13:00.002Z

www.meetforeal.com : check it out!

A little note

2008-12-23T17:57:00.003Z

This is something i don't want to forget therefore I am going to put it on my blog so I can share it with others and as a constant reminder.

Focus on expressing your child-like creativity on a daily basis. Stop thinking so much about making money, and focus on connecting with people and sharing your creations with them instead.

Adrian

Scary RECESSION!!!

2008-12-23T17:43:00.003Z

For those who are worried about the recession all over the world or in your country. I invite you to read this is a beautiful post. Making mony in a recession.

Tecnhological Revolution has socially crippled us!!!

2008-10-16T13:20:00.006+01:00

This has been an intense week for me. I learned a couple of new things is great. This last week I have

spoken to a lot of people from completely different backgrounds, countries and perspectives in life. I have come to realize that with all the technological revolutionary advancements of this day and age. Individuals are definitely smarter than they were say 100 years ago. Why? Well that is a simple answer.

The information revolution that we are living in and not only that, but they way we communicate has fundamentally changed us. Clear examples are social networks in this particular case Facebook. This tool allows you to stay connected with HUNDREDS of friends and enable us to EMULATE a virtual SOCIAL LIFE. Don’t get me wrong I am an IT guy and develop these things myself, and facebook is an incredible tool that allows to KEEP CONECTED with hundreds of people across the globe SIMULTANEOUSLY. That is powerful!! Thus I said KEEP CONECTED. In this day and age of such huge technological advancements and I all sorts of High-tech communication the idea of KEEPING CONECTED does not mean KEEPING GOOD SOCIAL SKILLS.

My objective point is that for such a highly technological advanced world our social skills are brutally diminished. We are still so tribal like-minded considering such incredible technological advancements. And we are just not able to keep up. The world has created smarted individuals but that doesn’t mean more socially capable. People remain within their social contexts and tribes and What I have come to discover is that we have so much in common with other tribes. This is virtually impossible to imagine until you experience it. What I mean by this is that, if people give instead of take, “socially speaking” results could be absolutely amazing and a total win-win situation. Why I mean by give is to be absolutely open and give yourself to the group in terms of ENERGY life experiences, opinions and emotions.

This is a proven way to ADD SOCIAL VALUE to a specific tribe. Evolutionary speaking we are wired to survive and replicate taking Richard Dawkings theory. This means if a member of a tribe adds a valuable scheme of thought, actions or emotions for the particular objective of the tribe in that specific moment in time. The incorporation and acceptance of the new member is immediate, and not only that, the tribe wants to be around that member, because he or she adds value to the social replication-reproductive pool. I don’t fully believe this human ROBOTIC theory, but we do behave like that in many respects. Ellen is gone to Nepal for 3 weeks and heading to India in another 3. I am so incredibly excited It is going to be my 3th time in India. I love this country so much because it allows you to feel and think stuff that you would have never imagined to think or feel. That is where the beauty of it lies. Finding people with Zero technological access but with incredible social value. I am all about adding incredible value and enriching myself in the process is a beautiful thing!!!!

Adrian

Strangers and the comfort zone.

2008-09-02T22:25:00.005+01:00

Hey amigos it has been a while since I last wrote. I have just been really busy working on the website, which I love doing is so challenging. Currently I am learning loads in terms of being able to build any sort of web application, considering the fact that nowadays we use the web so much, mine is going to be amazing with loads of users and specially be able to meet incredible people and learn more about myself.

Regarding people and social interaction I’ve been having great success. During the race week in Galway, I managed to speak to over 50 different people and all strangers of course and got over 40 different e-mails. I happened to learns loads and hone my approaching skills and one of the big realizations is that there is no such a thing as REJECTION. People in general have a friendly tendency towards other people and the big lesson is that we all share a lot of things in common. Just think of yourself having a good night out and all of a sudden a friendly stranger approaches you with a substantial conversation. The likelihood of you reacting positively is very high indeed.

One of the things that I discovered about myself is that I am able to approach any sorts and groups of people, obviously as a human being I feel the norm of social anxiety but the trick is to overcome it and that is when all the magic happens. I am fascinated by approaching strangers and meeting cool interesting people. One thing that I would like to share is that there are loads of interesting people out there. I can’t miss the opportunity to meet them all. A very interesting thing about all the interactions that I had was that out of all 50 only 1 was initiated by somebody else but me. What does this mean? We hardly ever talk to strangers apart from transactional purposes, and if we do, it could turn into a big challenge making the next step, meaning getting their contact details.

We hardly ever make it to the 12 feet with a stranger unless good skills are applied.
The challenge is reaching a casual distance with strangers.

Talking about the dark side on the other hand is that some people are still wary about NEW people and strangers. That could be a fascinating analysis of why humans instinctively are reluctant to the “new and novel” and prefer the familiar scheme of things, the so called comfort zone. I hate comfort zones. I don’t learn much staying in my comfort zone and familiarity. So if you have any experiences of how have you been BREAKING your comfort zone in the last week or month PLEASE SHARE !!!!!!!!

Anyway I am having loads of fun at the moment and can’t wait to launch my site and meet lots of interesting people.

I completely borderline between disasted zone and adventure zone. Where are you located??

Adrian

Living in Galway and Rocking up to people.

2008-07-25T20:39:00.004+01:00

Hi everyone well WE ARE IN GALWAY. I'll try to describe the experience in one paragraph because it is a rather vast one.

Many changes first of all, new house, city, job and general activities and it just has been fantastic. I love developing the web site, it is a complete form of self expression writing code and seeing the output is like writing a poem; meaning I am an artist )):):):):):).

Well you have to work smart and to be a successful artist, but the challenge of creating something yours and trying to convert it into something real is just something completely beautiful. I love it. Galway is a great city like the arts festival is on and went to see a couple of bands from Cape Verde and Mali. It was great and just came back from seeing a couple of art exhibitions and found a lovely cafe place which sells cheese and wine with a combination of organic teas. I saw a beautiful sign in the wall posted which said "WE DON'T SELL CHIPS". This place opens until 4am in the morning amazing!!!, and so full of people and there seems to be a big alternative crowd in Galway which is going to be great for my business so if you are around in Galway don't hesitate and pay us a visit to our great apartment in Galway.

Another technique that I am developing is the technique on talking to strangers and initiate a substantial conversation and later engage them with an idea and ask for their contact details. This is one of the things that I will have to constantly do to sell my website and inviting people. I really love talking to new people and it feels great, instead of feeling all nervous and awkward and not knowing what to say I feel this HUGE BUZZ and so far I have met so many people just by rocking up to them and initiating some sort of conversation. The most interesting part is that most people react in a really friendly way. So if you have any suggestions on how would YOU best like to be approached by a friendly stranger send them up to me amonter5@hotmail.com. I love feedback.

Also I would recommend everyone to talk to strangers it’s great. You realize how many interesting people are really out there!!!!!!

WHY A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE STILL AFRAID OF STRANGERS ????????

Are they going to kill us, rob us, rape us ????

Or are we just being so incredibly tribal like cave men !!!!

Are we still cave MEN ???

Have fun and live your life!!!!!

Adrian

Morocco, London and Galway.

2008-07-14T23:44:00.004+01:00

A really good photo was taken by me while Ellen is observing in a very diligently manner how the Moroccan man are in the course of devouring a savoury Tagine (Moroccan dish composed of several spices and vegetables in a clay pot). I saw the guy eating and asked them if we could take a photo with them.

That is me in one of the most beautiful Medersa Ben-Youssef (Islamic school which contains dormitories and student halls) which fabulous and fiery Moroccan stucco around the walls. Once you are inside you feel completely subdued to the elegance and beauty of the place.

One of the narrow streets in Fez.

I'll continue very soon ...............................................................

Adrian

Camino de santiago de compostela

2008-06-25T15:51:00.004+01:00

So Adrian wrote the last post, and I guess it's my turn! Life has been pretty hectic over the last few months which is great! I love being busy and we have managed to fill our lives with activites that we are passionate about, so its been a very exciting time :)

I just came back from a 10 day holiday in spain with mairead and cliffy. We did 4 days of the camino de santiago de compostela and became peregrinos for the week! We walked 90 km from Pamplona to Logrono and it was just such a fantastic experience that we all agreed to go back to do more of it next year!

It doesnt sound like an amazing holiday opportunity when I describe it - waking up at 6 in the morning after sleeping in a hostel which tends to be occupied by pilgrims who have a marvellous ability to snore, maybe it has something to do with their spirituality - the louder you snore, the closer you are to god?? Wearing, in my case, hand me down professional walking gear which was not in the least bit flattering, living out of a rucksack that you have to lug around with you all day, stale sweat coating every surface of your body, oozing through your rucksack as you walk to permeate every edifice of your belongings, stamping you permanently with your own particular scent... And thats not to mention the foot pain, hip pain, knee pain, blister pain, mosquito bite pain and thirst/hunger/exhaustion that accompanies you on your 6-8 hour walk each day :)

Ah, it was wonderful!

Seriously though, walking through the countryside, watching the wheat fields, and poppies, the ground changing from gravel, to stones, to sand, to clay, plodding over every type of soil, every kind of terrain, we crossed rivers, went up hills, and down mountains, through villages and towns, traipsed through mud where sarah fell, gracefully, and through vineyards, where I fell, painfully! Just accompanied by our conversations, our thoughts, the smells of flowers and the simple sounds of the three of us making our way to our destination, I felt like we were all alone in the world.

Needless to say, after 6 hours of walking, I didnt notice anything of beauty, all I could think about was how to make the pain stop :) Until the fourth day, when I didn't want the day to end :( The feeling of reaching our destination was magnificent! A huge accomplishment, and something we didnt tire of in our short trip. Although I would imagine that after 30 days of reaching destinations that the sensation dimishes somewhat!

Once we got to Logrono, we said goodbye to our new friends, and headed to San Sebastian, to the beach and the sun which had been hiding behind clouds throughout our walks. I think the sight of so many people shocked us a little after our peaceful pilgrimage, and it took us a while to get used to not being greeted with the usual respect that a pilgrim deserves :)

Flying back through Biarritz, I spent an extra day there and extended my holiday even further. I came back feeling as though I had been away for a month!

So I am beginning work full time next Monday, which I feel sure is a step in the right direction for me, and Adrian has 3 more weeks of work before he joins me up there to start his own venture on a wonderful website that we are developing - well he is developing and I am the advisor :) Its really something we feel passionately about and I am sure we will make it work.

So, I hope all of my readers are well. It amazes me again and again how happy I can be in this little life, that if I fill it with the things that I love doing, and with the people that I respect, and love and enjoy being with, that everything is possible.

Have a good week xx

More learning experiences !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-10T00:00:00.007+01:00

HI everyone it’s been a long time since I last wrote and is a pleasure to write at this moment. Several events have happened in the last couple of months:

Adrian and Ellen went to Morocco and London.
Ellen sent her book to several publishers in Ireland and the UK.
Ellen went to Amsterdam on her first business experience.
Adrian with the help from Ellen is creating a great remarkable website that is going to create impact in the world.
We're moving to Galway and a lot more come.

Adrian and Ellen went to Morocco and London.

London was absolutely great. I went by myself first and saw a great artist called Cranach. He basically was the leading edge in his time, painting provocative pictures of naked women evoking a huge sense of erotism for the 16^th century.

My next big adventure was to see Freud’s house in which he lived for the last year of his life and the most interesting thing was to see that he collected all sorts of antiquities from all over earth. All of which, in a way gave way for him to create ideas about the unconscious and psychosexual development it’s fascinating !!!!!!

Morocco was a great experience completely different from Syria or Jordan. The culture is very different considering food, environment and architecture. People were still very nice more pushy from the sales perspective, but still great in terms great social skills. They were very keen on joking and getting to know the person before diving into the sales pitch. Morocco has an incredible blend of African, European, Middle eastern and Mediterranean cultures mixed into a single melting pot . I really enjoyed the food the architecture and specially the culture as a monolith and it’s so close to Europe, only 3 hours away beautiful. I reiterate my passion for a learning travel experience and meeting interesting new people from completely different backgrounds.

Ellen went to Amsterdam on her first business experience.

This was a really great one, she got to meet people from all over earth and network and talk about interesting topics that all were passionate about, these are one of the things that you really get to learn loads and sort of measure were your overall skills stand in comparison with the most intelligent people out there in the world.

To be continued..

Art packed weekend in Limerick

2008-04-20T14:23:00.002+01:00

So, news regarding us: We're going to Morocco!! Yay!!

Adrian's idea, random of the random, we are going in 3 weeks, just for a week... How exciting! Looking forward to diving into a new cultural experience which is defined in the Lonely Planet as "the greatest show on earth." Apparently, "there's no place on earth quite like this." I'll let you know :)

Yesterday we went to the the Limerick City Gallery of Art to see one part of the Eva exhibition, which is held in 10 locations around Limerick. It was great! We were a little shocked that we were unaware of its existence until just recently... How shameful.

The installation by Haegue Yang (Korea / Germany) called Holiday for Tomorrow caught my attention, and I quote:

"She is interested in contemplating the invisible power relationship in structure of society and in everyday life. Her new installation includes a video essay, "Holiday Story", in which the nature and fact of holiday is quietly yet sincerely commented. Holiday is socially agreed temporary suspension of labour from restless production urge, which only legitimated itself for a purpose of regeneration for the better future production efficiency.

...The installation also includes "Blind Department", which functions as an obstacle of sight that rest of sight is suggested......

...Yangs complex thought on the role of art, cognizing the betrayal aspect of holiday in life, deceiving our expectation of fundamental rest responds to her mental struggle about labour....."

Which led me to wonder if in my time off, I am simply resting so that the next week I will be more productive.However, I also wonder if the artist ever does anything while on "holiday", because I know I definitely never come back feeling "rested"! Although I would like it if we were able to integrate work into our lives so that the two were not so segregated... but then that satisfaction of finishing work, and the build up to time off wouldn't be so sweet. Go check out the exhibition and let me know what you guys think!

Today we took advantage of the free admission on a Sunday to visit The Hunt Museum, and stumbled upon a guided tour in progress with a delightful docent who filled us in on the more amusing and intriguing aspects of a few of the artifacts in the collection.

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as we enjoyed our surprising art packed weekend in lovely little Limerick.

Socialising in Ireland

2008-03-23T14:09:00.005Z

Ugh, really annoyed with the social scene in Limerick. In Ireland for that matter. I must be getting really old because the concept of big pubs filled with groups of friends, and loud music just doesn't appeal to me. I so badly wanted to talk to the people who I went out with last night, and the atmosphere of too many people, and too little space, really loud music and too little time made the experience more stressful than enjoyable! I know it was Easter, so everyone who ever lived in Limerick was here, and for some reason, everyone who ever went to Nancy’s wanted to spend the evening there... I just can’t see the appeal anymore. Screaming over outdated pop music seems a little ridiculous.

I think we go out for a couple of reasons. Firstly, and most importantly, to meet up with friends, old and new. Usually it's old friends when it’s an event like Easter... to catch up. Seems like a great idea.

Secondly, we go out to see and be seen. We clean up and dress up, put on our masks, ready for the performance. If we are single, to try to find someone to go home with, and if we are attached, to look for someone better :) We go out to flirt, seeking attention, and approval. I think we also go out looking for something different, a new perspective, a triggering point of view, a complex conversation. Well, I do anyhow. I used to tell Adrian that the anticipation of a night out was something delicious, drinking in the house before going out was the best part: opening up the possibility that tonight, in the right outfit, surrounded by the right group of people, in the right destination, anything could happen.

Thirdly, we go out to get incredibly pissed. To relax, and forget the worries of work, of family, of relationships, and just go mad, act crazy, uninhibited, and unleashed. To have a good time. If that’s your idea of a good time.

But it’s funny because as a result of the first, second and third aims of a night out, we have developed a culture of super pubs. Centrally located spaces, designed with a defined age group in mind, where you can arrange to meet all of your different groups of friends, at the same time, in the same place. The fact that you are gathering with people of your own age makes it more likely that you will be attracted to someone in the vicinity, and looking all polished up as you are makes it more likely that you will draw attention to yourself from prospective partners. Single or not single. Drink is readily available, at a price affordable for everyone, because realistically we will pay whatever is necessary in order to fulfill our third objective, getting hammered.

These super pubs sound just that, super. Then why do I fucking hate them?

It’s become like a spectator sport, and a complete waste of time and energy, a lonely affair. You are alone when you battle to pass, single file, through the raging crowd, making eye contact as you go. You are alone when you need to use the facilities, barging your way through the same sea of unfamiliar faces. Alone when you get your drinks, and alone carrying them back to where you have managed to eak out a space for yourself, collected in small groups, standing your ground against the people trying to pass by, in this confined area, jacket in hand, perched in high heels which are designed for sitting, constrained to only making conversation with the person next to you, the third in a circle often spending the time drinking and smoking. Speaking loudly and clearly at your neighbour, so that they can lip read the words that are overwhelmed by the thumping music in the background, or in the foreground I should say, you are forced to drink more, to lubricate your vocal cords. Instead of a back and forth conversation, you end up talking in uninterrupted monologues, telling stories of your life, and just waiting for a nod of understanding. You may as well be talking to yourself. It’s now your neighbours turn to talk, and missing phrases here and there, you attempt to fill in the blanks yourself, too lazy to keep asking, "what?" and, "what?" and, "WHAT?”. With just enough information to get the gist, you nod along, any attempt to delve deeper into the mysteries of their life seeming like waaay too much trouble. The generalities are more than sufficient.

Separating from the cluster for long periods on end to complete the rituals of buying drinks, and pee breaks, in total the night consists of 5 or 6 separate monologue conversations, in 5 or 6 different groups, if you're lucky.

And what about the flirting and attention seeking? Is that somehow fulfilled on our singular walks to the toilet and back; to the bar and back? Fleeting eye contact with members of the opposite sex (or same sex if that's your thing) being mistaken for flirtation, as one or other parties is merely searching for recognizable features in periodic sweeping of the room, evoking the internal responses of, "do they fancy me?" or, "wow, he's hot".

That’s it? That’s "mating"? Finding a suitable partner? Who can find a partner in that atmosphere? When you can’t stop and talk to a guy you think is cute as you walk back from the bathroom because you are clogging up the whole procession of people behind you? What about trying to mount up the courage to say hi, not to mention the courage to butt in on his conversation with his intimidating group of friends? We are in the sense "together in one place", yet we are all alone, each group cut off from the next.

That reminds me, the third thing: Getting unbelievably pissed. Well, that one is pretty easy, because the time it takes you to walk to the bar and back, you may as well buy 2 while you're there, save you the return journey. And therein lies the solution to the previous problem: Only through the path of extreme drunkenness can you falsify enough courage to break down the barriers of intimidation, and lean over to talk to the cute guy poised at the stairs.

All three priorities fulfilled, at least for another week.

If you ask me, I think that the only people who are gaining by this are the super pubs. They sell a lot of drink, in double portions, to a huge amount of people. The music is so loud that people need to get drunker to really shout, they need to drink more to protect their voices, and gradually the drunkenness blocks out the discomfort of the constant noise. Atmosphere they call it.

Bullshit I call it. We are letting these companies redefine our idea of a good night out for their own profits. If they only put in tables and chairs, set a reasonable limit on the number of people allowed in, and reduced the volume to a more reasonable level, then it really would be a super pub.

I know places like this exist, I’m not re-inventing the wheel here; I just don’t understand why we don’t ever spend our money there.

I remember that in Mexico the guys at the table next to you would offer you beer, lean over, and start a conversation. They weren’t drunk, or even being intrusive, and not necessarily looking for shag; just to say hi, to share, and to break away from patterns of loneliness, to acknowledge our presence, and the importance of connection in a world more filled with people. For if not, we are all alone here. Distant from our oldest friends, distant from the people who we push past in our quest to buy more drink, distant from ourselves in the inability to even think straight because of the copious amounts of alcohol we need to drink in order to convince ourselves that we are "having fun" during it all. It’s like the only solution is to get drunk. That way, no matter what, you enjoy it. It’s like a band aid on a gaping wound. At least if you are drunk, you are unaware of your loneliness.

Maybe that’s a little deep… maybe I’m exaggerating just a tad… but then it’s a blog and I felt like venting, let me vent!

Happy Easter!

xxx

Paris/Qigong

2008-03-04T17:06:00.004Z

Hi guys!

I had an amazing time in Paris, just one night by myself, and I really enjoyed it! I went to the Louvre, which I've never been to before, and although I've heard so much about it, it just blew me away! So much art under one roof, and a beautiful roof at that! I went to a jazz club as well, and I went to our favourite shopping centre to get food to bring home. It was great.

I have tai chi/qi gong tonight, another one of my ways to be healthy, body and mind. I heard a story on the Pat Kenny show recently, about a young lady who got ovarian cancer (I didn’t mean to talk about cancer, I never really think about it these days, but I suppose the drugs triggered me!) and she had 2 young kids I think, and she did qi gong, and ate healthily etc, did all the "right things" and the chemo didn’t work, the second lot she tried didn’t work, and neither did the third I think, so she died after maybe a year or 2. I heard the story, and thought, "oh that’s shit" but then forgot about it. And I happened to have my class that evening, and when I went, we did a kind of standing meditation. Well it’s a 2 hour class so you get a lot of time to think. And during the meditation, this feeling of, "oh what’s the point" came into my head. If this lady did qi gong, and ate better, and it didn’t save her then it’s all a pile of bullshit.

The first thing that I thought was great was that the class made me realise that I had been affected by the radio program, even though I hadn’t thought so at the time. And that I had been carrying that little bit of "oh what’s the point" with me all day long without realising it. And I started to feel really sad, standing in the class, moving to different positions, and I had tears in my eyes. I felt doomed.

Then as the time passed, and we were standing still, imagining ourselves on a mountaintop, I realised that I was enjoying it immensely. The movements look simple but they require you to concentrate on your body. So, following the teacher, and having nothing else to do, no place to go, or thing to prepare for, I realised that the reason that I do qi gong, or that I want to be doing it, is not to "be cured" or to live forever, but for the simple reason that doing it brings me joy. In the very moment, not later when I go home, although I may feel more relaxed, but the joy is in the action. It’s the same with eating healthily. I know it has long term benefits, but the main reason to do it is not only for the long term, but for the short term - so you wont feel bloated, or tired, so you wont feel guilty, or look in the mirror and be disgusted with what you see... so that you are full of energy to enjoy the moment, the present. And to be proud of taking care of your body as it’s the only one you've got.

So I felt much better after the class, recognising and dealing with a little bit of doubt that had been implanted in my head without my knowledge, and seeing the real purpose for all that I do to be healthy. I know that none of us will live forever, and although I would love to be as lucky to live as long as the normal population, I feel comforted by the fact that unlike many people who are on this planet, I am truly lucky enough to really be living in this life, not spending my day tired, or in a bad mood, unfulfilled or unloved. I do try to feel as good as I can everyday, and learn, see and do as much as is possible in the hours of the day.

I heard Stephen Hawking said that he was unlucky enough to get motor neuron disease, but lucky in everything else. And I must listen to my friend Agnes's advice, and stop listening to morning radio, its depressing! She sent me some lively music to play instead.

That being said, I prefer meditating by myself. And I don't feel worried now about not doing it, as I might have been worried before - as if to say - if I don’t do it I'll get sick again. But I think it’s about finding a way to watch the thoughts that are running through your head, and to acknowledge them, and to sometimes decide that you don’t want them in your life. And for me I get that in meditation.

Hope you are all enjoying your days,

Lots of love
Ell xx

2008-01-09T18:09:00.001Z

Hi guys,

So... Dusseldorf.

It was a bit of a disaster when we arrived, bright and early, after taking a plane and 4 buses, to find that the hostel we had booked actually resided in another city - Cologne. How was I to know that "Koln" on the internet booking page referred to the famous city, and not to a district of Dusseldorf! Anyhow, it was not entirely my fuck up and so we didnt get charged, and we managed to find another place to stay - equally as romantic - a tiny room with 2 single beds. Sharing the narrow bed with adrians toes as my cuddling companion... needless to say a back ache wasn't my only issue with the sleeping arrangements.

Moving swiftly along, I did lots of shopping, and New Years Eve was mental, mental good not mental bad! White Sensation: 40,000 young people, all dressed in white, the colours of the lights reflecting off the crowd, and just house music playing all night, it was a dream come true! The intial theme was love, and there were intervals with dancers, and gymnastics, costumes and bright lights, and then they showed this really thoughtful video for the New Years Countdown, with a really profound message to make us think a little, (all in english!) and then the theme changed to the dark side of love, with pyrotechnics, and deep reds and blues and fire everywhere. It was really well designed!

Eric Morillo played, who we saw at creamfields, and he was good, but then this dj Axwell started - he also plays in the Swedish House Mafia who are a 3 person dj "team" who played at creamfields as well - they are really crazy, playing everything from tribal to electronic... but this guy Axwell on his own - he blew me away! He was the best I've heard so far. He played pure house but he played very little from what he has made commercial, it was just the blending and joining of complex sounds and making it work, it was incredible! It felt like he was just composing on the spot, and I surrendered to his genius. It was a magic 2 hours, I didnt want it to end - and he played at like 2.45, and my feet were in pain, but when he started playing, the pain left my body, I felt like my feet could dance forever. I'm so glad I got to see him, cos he's just being discovered this year - I'm scared when he gets more famous, he'll get more commercial, and he'll lose the individuality, the uniqueness of his sound.

So, now the downsides: I felt the people who were at the event weren't really into it - maybe the Germans don't take enough drugs or something - I mean I don't take drugs either, but they just seemed a little dull. I guess it was a big event to expect everyone to just be there for the music - they came to have somewhere to go to on New Years Eve. But I would love to go when its on in Amsterdam, (usually its on in Amsterdam, this is the first time I think its been on in Germany) with the energy created by people who are enjoying the music, and appreciating it.

Plus - they smoke. And Jesus they smoke a lot! I just wasn't used to it. The place filled up with smoke, and it didn't leave until they ran out of cigarettes, thankfully, at about 3! I felt my lungs aged by about 6 years in that environment!!

Apart from that, it was brill, and the music made it all worth it.

Happy new year everyone, hope 2008 is smashing for each and everyone of us xxx

Jordan the arid land!!!!!

2007-12-18T20:41:00.000Z

This is a really interesting photo that i took outside of a little restaurant and you see them all over the place in Syria.
-Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran's president)
-Bashaar al-Assad (Syrian president)
-Hassan Nasrallah (Secretary General Hezbollah)
The TRIAD OF EVIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jordan was really really cool, when i was in Damascus Syria i met loads of people who have been in Jordan before being in Syria and they all said that Syria was so much nicer than Jordan and the same with people. Everyone pretty much felt in love with Syria. I was not so bias and i just let myself be impressed by Jordan . The last day i was in Damascus i didn't have a nice experience although. I was in the taxi-Bus station to get a cab for Amman Jordan and when i first arrived to the station one boy approached me and said: Oh you are going to Amman come here that i have a CAb!!! He took me to the car which was a brand new car really modern in comparison with the rest of the cabs around and then I haggle over the price. This was extremely difficult because none of the boys who were offering the service spoke a word of english!!!! So it was really difficult it was all through Arabic, after that they called one guy who spoke english a bit more and told me that it was a real cab and that it was all cool. I trusted the guy into believing that he was a real taxi driver so now it was all a matter of waiting for more people to join the cab because they are all shared cabs in the middle east unless you pay for a private service. A couple of minutes later he asked me for my passport because apparently they had to fill in some sort of forms that everyone who is crossing the border into Jordan is meant to have, although i made the stupid mistake of giving him my passport. Six minutes later i asked one of the guys of where the hell his partner was?? He responded in a very oblivious way and started asking me for money for some strange reason so then i was FUCK!!!!!!!!!! The other guy is now going to run away with my passport and imagine being in syria with no passport considering that Syria us such a difficult country to travel around. A couple of minutes later after i gave him 3 euros as the price to go and look for the boy who took my passport and still didn't see a shadow of him and then i though i was so screwed!!!!!!!! I started getting a bit crazy and then all of a sudden i saw the boy and asked him for it. He acted as if i never gave him anything and all of a sudden another guy totally unrelated with the current transaction gave it to me. I was so relieved. It was a really difficult that day. It took so much energy out of me and once more i realized that it's not so easy to travel in the middle east at all.

Then managed to get to Jordan-Amman and then took a bus to Petra, although before i went t to Jordan I investigated of a good guide who could take me to the Wadi rum desert.
I manage to get into Jordan and then went to the wadi rum desert and met this guy called Aodeh. He is a Bedouin and he makes tours all along the Wadi rum desert. He took me all along the desert for 2 days and manage to sleep in the open air at nite it was great it was not cold at all!!!!! The Wadi rum is such AN AMAZING desert is just completely amazing its just so beautiful.
The second day he took me to a really remote place close to Saudi Arabia with no tourists at all and I met a Bedouin who lives in the desert all by himself. He didn't have a real house. He lived under a rock literally and he has been living alone in the desert for 30 years apparently. It was surreal to meet someone like that and realizing how could there be human in the current 'Modern Age' living like that??? Mubarak, Aodeh's partner was the guy who drove me along the desert and he cooked me really good Bedouin food.The tent was really amazing really relaxing (Aodeh's tent) and the stars at nite are just unbelievable its just so incredible i couldn't believe we live in such a great cosmos where the hell are we????????

So then i went to petra really amazing as well everyone should really go and see. It is unbelievable as well. I stayed there for 3 days just exploring all the amazing sites and met a really nice guy from Taiwan who offered me to take a picture (I had no camera at that stage) and send it over by email. A couple of days later i went to Amman and the most important part was that i met incredibly friendly people too. I was just walking down the street and all of a sudden one guy call me over and offer me to sit right next to him just to have a conversation. He was Palestinian and stayed in prison for 6 years. It was really great to meet someone like him adding the fact that he invited me some coffee, later on another guy came over but he didn't speak a word of english but he was so nice and welcoming is just crazy how people in this big city could be so incredibly welcoming and friendly that was the big lesson we are all giving humans deep down inside or not so deep down. We are just so full and full of fear of rejection or of being hurt etc etc.....It's and old story.

Adrian

Shopping Addict

2007-12-11T14:42:00.001Z

Hey guys, if you have a chance, watch this video - the first few bits are obvious, but when she gets to the consumption and disposal stuff its kinda scary.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/index.html

It was only yesterday that I saw a woman crossing the street, and I noticed her shoes - They were the old fashioned heels, like the one in the picture:

(Even when I was looking for this picture, I saw so many nice shoes, I am so weak, I want them all!!)

This video spoke to me about how I am being tricked into being a consumer: I mean how recently would I have thought these shoes are mingin... and now, just by seeing them on sale everywhere, and in magazines, and worn by the celebs... they are suddenly delectable! Its insane!

The american economist, Victor Lebow said the following in the 1950's:
"Our enormously productive ecomony demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption... we need things consumed, burned up, replaced and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate."

Its crazy, but I feel personally, at the moment, that I can sometimes use shopping as a method of filling my soul. And that scares the shit out of me! I wish I didn't feel this need, to own stuff, or to look pretty. As I cycle a lot, I tend to people watch, its an addiction! I'm hooked!

I know deep down that spending my hard earned cash on good food, and good times is much more important than the buzz I feel from wearing new shoes, but with Christmas around the corner, and new shops opening everywhere (has anyone seen Limerick lately? Its superb!) its hard not to jump on the bandwagon, and buy, buy, buy!

That said, I was aware of the problem, so I started bringing my journal to work, and writing during my breaks instead of shopping... but now that I've seen this video, I'm more determined not to let myself be brainwashed into thinking the latest fashions will soothe my soul.

Happy christmas shopping!!
love el xx

Work issues

2007-12-04T14:44:00.001Z

Yesterday I had a shit day at work. I met my new friend afterwards, (we were meant to play squash but the courts were full so we settled for having a drink instead) and I was able to scream and shout and let it all out!

So in the midst of us both moaning, I felt myself being carried along on the bandwagon, finding more and more things to complain about! All of a sudden I started feeling pissed off - I have been through a lot of shit, and I was pissed off that I had already forgotten the most fundamental thing that I learned: No one has a perfect life. Happiness is not given to you - you have to go and get it. There is no such thing as "when I have a better job, then I'll be happy". Fair enough, you may feel less bad on a daily basis, but you cannot rely on your job to be the thing that needs to change in order for your life to be happier - YOU have to change. Plus!: Sitting around complaining is not gonna get us a better job! We have to go find it! We have this idea when we are struggling, that everyone else is happier, or luckier. But I remember, when I was sick, and even now, it is impossible to find people who are without problems in their lives. And there is no way to measure whose problem is larger, or more important.

I interrupted her in mid sob story, and asked her to name 5 good things in her life. She told me it was impossible, but I insisted. I didnt want to be telling her what to do, I know that perhaps I would have gotten better results if I had trained as a psychologist - if I was able to ask her the correct questions so that she could come to the conclusion by herself, but this exercise was as much for me as for her, and I felt I needed to at least plant a "positive thinking" seed in her brain...

So she did so. And we created this lovely bond between us, that ok, work can be tough sometimes, and maybe we need to start looking for other jobs, or at least speak up about our problems and try and sort them out. But to sit in our negativity, and moan, we both felt like shit doing it. Sometimes life gives us a hard situation to deal with, and by reliving the drama and the pain, by dwelling in the awfulness of the situation, we do ourselves no good. The sooner we can accept that this is the way things are going to be - in my friends case, for 2 years; in my case - until I start making money from other sources! the easier it will be to just rise above it.

When I came home I remembered Sunny Jacobs, who I wrote about ages ago - she was happy living on Death row, in a tiny little cell, alone. And I remembered how I managed to feel positive even being told I had 2 years to live, with no boob, with an open wound in my chest, with no hair, with physical pain from chemo... In that state I realised that all I need is hope - hope that the pain will go away, and hope that I will get better; and love from my family and friends. All the rest is bullshit. When I felt well again, it was the most beautiful feeling - that all I need is to not feel that ache in my brain from the drugs.

Ok, my job is not perfect, but I earn a bit of money, I've made a friend, and I am not sitting alone at home everyday. I am learning about people, and about illnesses, and I am learning how to deal with my inability to take orders! Its just so hard, to keep remembering - that all this is extra - that all I need to be happy is to be well and to have love, and to remember to look on the bright side of life. Screw Maslow's pyramid.

So my gratitude for life has been lost, and I am trying to find it again. I guess I just have gotten so used to being well... Long may it last.

I hope you all had a smashing day at work, or if you didnt, that you can take the time to list 5 good things in your life, and try to remember that theres more to life than work, even though it doesnt seem that way sometimes...

Love el xx

The Middle East Experience

2007-11-26T19:46:00.000Z

Since Ellen is not writing anymore in the blog because she doesn't like the fact that people know about her life constantly and she doesn't know anything about others life i'll keep writing no matter what especially since i have so much to say as well.
Well first of all I went to Jordan and Syria for 16 days. I just loved Syria it was such an amazing experience like it was just one of those trips in which i really learned loads and got to meet amazing people.The interesting thing about all this is the fact that when i told people that i was going to the middle east they were like WOW that is something by itself and then when i said i was going to Syria everyone was like Jesus that is going to be dangerous and not only that i also went by myself which added excitement to the hot pot of soup, and even if you log into the US department of state they quote basically don't go because is dangerous. Well first of all its all media. Syria is one of the safest countries i have ever been and its all Media brainwash. The western world is brainwashing all their citizens into believing that the world is a dangerous place and everyone keeps living with fear and therefore more controllable reducing the possibility for humans to exercise a more pure form of free will and conscious choice. In addition specially Syrians and some Jordanians were incredibly amazing so so so incredibly friendly and i was freaken shocked. Syrians opened their arms and said welcome to our home and that was incredibly amazing and if a Syrian knows an English word that would be 'welcome' because that is the first thing they say when they see you on the street which is Welcome Welcome to Syria can you imagine those words coming from Arab terrorist?? not only that they see ya they talk to you ask about your life, country, family, work, beliefs, religion, likes and dislikes (without asking for any money) and they wish you a good trip in Syria and happy life fancy that (I am Not exaggerating)!!!!!.
The biggest lesson in short was that people by nature are capable of giving love, but at the same time there is incredible fear of such a risky act. I believe and know that this a fundamental human act that could sustain us living in the current desperate world that we live in full of poverty, hatred, war and disbelieve. I believe human beings are good by nature but sometimes is just hard to see it and believe it and especially being able to "give" it and "receive" it. We are also so full of prejudice and preconceptions about people, ideas and places that blurs everything around us with a tainted and deviated perception that in a way stops this inner human act of giving and receiving.

Syria
This is in Damascus Omayyad mosque one of the islam's greatest architertural monuments and it has an incredible peaceful atmosphere. Plus Damascus incredible old city would just blow you away.

Spice stall in Aleppo Souk (Aleppo Market) you can tell how important Syria was for the east ern trade in earlier centuries.

Gold Souk

Apamea This is a Roman city from the 4th and 5th century these are the columns if the main street you can feel how the roman had such an incredible power.

This is an old man selling Spices in little bags i was just shocked by the simplicity of the trade and how this probably 65 year old man makes a living out of bags with spices, i wonder how many children he has and a wife to support since muslim don't work in the regular trade at least in Syria? Would that be enough to make a proper living????????

This is in Damascus and as you can see there is a little boy at the back with a funky custom giving a sort of flavored water . The first day i arrived in Syria a committed the mistake of drinking a glass of that water because the boy was extremely persistent so i took the glass and zip down the contents which cause me a serious diarrhea which didn't go away for 24 hours and i ended up taking antibiotics to get rid of the bacteria. Although Syrian food is incredibly beautiful.

Anyway hope i made it clear enough. There is just an incredible world out there!, full of incredible people this fact just gives me a sense of peace .

I'll put a post for Jordan soon enough

Adrian

Limerick

2007-09-27T15:25:00.002+01:00

Hi everyone!

Adrians news is great, but as you probably gathered, I am not going with him. I am happy to have a bit of stability in my life, and those shelves won't restock themselves!! :)

I discovered something surprising today... that I love Limerick. My dad said recently that no one would choose to live in Limerick, but today especially, I wanted to be here. I love the people (not all of them of course!), but they are just so REAL. On an average day I now encounter so many, and the amount of good humoured, chatty folk is uplifting. The acts of unexpected kindness, such as the donating of parking tickets, "there's still a good hour and a half left on that", and the passing comments from strangers, "what did you do with your hair today? Mine's the same, curly, crazy! can't do anything with it!" There's still a huge community here, at least in parts of the city, and its nice to feel part of something, something large, and undefined, an undercurrent of familiarity, of caring natures, and the common need for people to just belong somewhere.

Have a good weekend,
Love el xx

Jordan And Syria

2007-09-25T21:40:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone, i have cool news. I just bought my ticket to the middle east im flying to Jordan and Syria and probably Jerusalem for 2 weeks and im really really excited as a matter a fact i have never been to the middle east before. I have read great things about Syria and its a great country to visit and well Jordan has petra which its amazing, also i joined the allianse francoise for some french classes i took 3 years of french at college so i dont want to loose it all. My teacher is french of course and all my classmates hava a incredible level very very good for anglophones, since you know spanish is very closed to french but still different. Anyway loving Ireland and the job is quite good its crazy to see how much Irish people travel abroad, like i never seen anything quite like it its pretty much a country of travelers and i love that because it brings a huge diversity into the Irish culture by itself, also had Mariead's party last week end it was really good cos i got to talk with pretty much everyone and also met a big group of frenchies and got to speak some french and spanish because one of the frenchies spoke prefect spanish so that was great anyway i'll keep you posted

Jordan

Syria

Adrian

2007-09-12T16:19:00.000+01:00

Hi Guys,

This post is on behalf of Jessica, who would like to thank all of you who donated to the Shining Star Primary School in Kenya.

She managed to raise a whopping 2000 euro!! which is going directly to the school, and I will let you guys know what they do with the money as soon as we know any more.

Thanks again! Your generosity is very much appreciated,

Ellen & Jessica xx

Electric Picnic

2007-09-05T22:04:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone!

I was thinking of taking a blog break, but then adrian gave out to me, so here I am...

Electric picnic was an experience! I didnt take many photos, or make many movies, I just tried to absorb the event fully! It was great, on Friday we arrived, and set up our tents, we got there early so no sitting in traffic, or worrying about finding a place to camp, and no queues! Although as a result of arriving early, jessica was practically strip-searched by the over eager first-hour-on-the-job bag-searching attendant!

We heard some great music, danced at the silent disco, did some yoga and meditation, made wishes, proclaimed our virtue at "lost vagueness" (see photos below), laughed our socks off at Des Bishop, watched impressive flame throwers and pathetic kiddy show acrobatics, and ate a variety of organic and fair trade goodies. Adrian even managed to fit in a circus, and some debating over a set menu - no small talk allowed. Didnt manage to meet up with anyone properly! Feel really bad, but my phone went dead on Friday night would you believe, after attempting to ring Jessica about 67 times... trying to get thru to anyone was madness!

All in all, it was a super weekend, and it was lovely to have a dudley reunion.

Now, I'm preparing for Paris on Monday, and my new job on Monday week... trying to get some website work done before the madness of work begins, and I wont know myself!

Hope you are all well,

Love el xx

Creamfields 2007

2007-08-27T15:06:00.001+01:00

Hi everyone, just back from Creamfields yesterday. It was ... it is hard to sum it up in one word - great/nice/super/fab/wicked/cool/fun... but all of those! We did a bit of sightseeing in Liverpool, and went to the Tate art museum.

On Saturday morning Adrian brought me to the World Museum, where there were exhibits of fish, and bugs and then whole floors of artifacts from all over the world. It was interesting, but after 2 hours I was in the cafe resting while Adrian was still going strong! Reading the fine print below each artifact...

Then at 3 we headed on the shuttle bus to Creamfields, and joined the throngs of people walking towards the same entrance. I was not searched at all - except with metal detectors, and Adrians bag was checked briefly, and as regards police check points, or drug confiscation, I think I saw 6 policemen all day, and they were probably the same 2 devices at 3 separate occasions! So there were drugs everywhere, but no trouble whatsoever! People were so polite, I mean, they apologised for walking past, they apologised for stepping on your toes, for touching you with their waving arms, they apologised all the time. It was more pleasant than most nightclubs I've been at. There didnt seem to be that many knackers really, most seemed to be just passionate about the music, which was just amazing. We got to see all these djs I've never heard of, but luckily I had Adrian as my guide, and we danced for 14 hours, until I had to finally sit down, and Adrian kept on until 15 minutes from the end.

We got the shuttle bus then just outside the entrance, and got off at the airport which was on the way back into town, and then discovered our plane was delayed. I knew it was too good to be true - everything had panned out perfectly over the weekend - and that is not normal! So we waited 10 hours in the airport, listening to dance music would you believe, piped over our heads like it was trying to drive us insane! We finally got home yesterday evening at 7ish.

Needless to say, I've slept all day, poor Adrian went to work! That will be me in a months time! :)

I made some videos, which are a bit bumpy, and hard to see, but using my camera with a broken screen, I couldnt see what I was doing, so I'm happy they even worked at all! I must invest in a new camera now I'm using it to broadcast to my millions of devoted readers. I could probably buy one now with the money I am making from the ads on this blog :) Ah, wishful thinking I'm afraid!

We saw Hernan Cattaneo

Harry "Choo Choo" Romero

Erick Morillo

David Guetta

Tom Novy

Swedish House Mafia

Sven Vath

Also saw Jorge Jaramillo who was good, and Carl Cox but we left after 10 minutes, didnt like him.

So thats all, hope you enjoy the post,

Love el xxx

From Greece!

2007-08-20T14:56:00.000+01:00

Hey guys,

Im writing this from an internet cafe in Perissa, on Santorini, and its all in greek, so luckily I know the positions of the necessary words to click!

Im heading home tomorrow evening, for my interview on Wednesday. To be honest I havent thought much about it, havent thought about much of anything over here - its a great place to come and chill out.

The girls are snoozing at the moment - we had a triathlon of a day yesterday - we climbed the volcano in the blistering heat, compounded by the black rock we were walking on; swam a long distance from the sailing boat to sulphurised hot springs, and rode enthsiastic donkeys up the side of a steep cliff to see the sunset from the north of the island. It was a great day, but I could have done without the donkey ride!

Our accomodation has been eventful to say the least - we've been shipped back and forth from Stelios' Place to various other hostels, and back again, long story as to why! But at least Stelios will drop me to the airport tomorrow, and the girls to their ferry stop - they are heading on to Ios.

Ill be sad to leave, the pace of life is so nice here, im getting used to just hanging! And the weather... well it goes without saying!

But obviously i'm looking forward to seeing Adrian, and heading to Creamfields.

Hope ye had a good time at steves birthday - Happy Birthday steve if you ever read this! And with Laura visiting. Didnt get a chance to meet up with either of you, another time.

Have a good week!
Love el xx

Ellen is gone to Santorini

2007-08-14T22:18:00.001+01:00

Hello everybody, now it is my turn to write since ellen is gone to Greece or should I say Santorini. I heard from a friend that it is an absolutely beautiful island so I must definitely go some day, I've never been to Greece before.

Last Friday I met a guy that I know from Mexico, actually he is from Mexico City, and he came to Ireland for 3 weeks to take an English course and so far he likes Ireland. He lived in Switzerland for 5 years and then in Argentina for another 5 and now he is living in Madrid. The funny thing is that he hasn't adapted extremely well to Spain, like I thought that he would love it and the like but he's been in Madrid for a year so far. Anyway it is interesting to talk to people that have lived abroad for such a long time.

Next week we are going to Liverpool to Creamfields - it is an electronic music festival and is meant to be amazing! There are going to be incredible DJ's, I'm so exccited plus I've never been to Liverpool before so that is going to be interesting, and the week after we are going to electric picnic so this month is going to be the month of festivals so far.

Anyway we'll keep our post updated since it is going to be a busy month and we'll also have new photos.........

Chat soon and be happy

Adrian

Driving Test

2007-08-08T11:13:00.002+01:00

I am officially permitted to drive my little fiat punto WITHOUT a licenced driver seated next to me! Wahoo!!

I had the test yesterday morning. On Monday night while I was practicing, I managed to get a puncture would you believe, so on the morning of the test they told me I had to get a new tire, otherwise I'd have to do the test another time. I was so pumped up for it, I had 3 lessons and everything, the LAST thing I wanted to do was reschedule! I nearly started crying! Luckily there was a tire shop right next door, and I got a new one put on and still had time to do the test. I think after that they felt sorry for me so I passed with flying colours.

The GREAT news is my insurance premium is lower!!! Not by much mind you but its an improvement!

I have started running again, not that you would have known I had stopped! but I used to be able to run (this time last year) for about 20 minutes before my hip started hurting and I couldn't breathe... So over the last few weeks I have finally felt ready to start running again, my lungs are resisting, and its pretty tough trying to get back my fitness, but its happening, slowly. I felt my body so strong and powerful while I was running last Saturday, when I think back on the last year - there was no way I thought that 11 months from that SHITTY diagnosis, I could be running again, about to go on a girly holiday to Greece, with a job interview to come home to, and a web site in development... It's crazy shit this life business.

Anyhow, the sun is shining, so I'm off to make the most of it,

Enjoy your day!
Love el xx

Good Book

2007-08-03T00:41:00.003+01:00

Just finished a good book - in 2 nights I was done! Called Stolen Time by Sunny Jacobs - the lady who was falsely imprisioned for 16 years!

She is an incredible lady with such a determination to live life to the full, being grateful for every last tiny pleasure. She reminded me again of how lucky I am to be here, and how deciding to live with a positive attitude, an open mind, and creativity is so much more fulfilling. And the sunshine definitely helps!

Have a good bank holiday weekend my friends xxx

Drivers Test

2007-07-26T13:33:00.000+01:00

Just confirmed the date of my drivers test... the 7th August... ming... not looking forward to it! Any volunteers to throw on my wig and impersonate me? :)

Any tips send them my way!

My sister, Jess, is currently on a plane to Bilbao to get a train to Leon to walk to Santiago de Compostela... Looking out my window I am very jealous! Will we ever get a summer? The eternal question!

Sending sunny thoughts to you all on this dismal day!

Love el xx

Meditation weekend

2007-07-24T00:09:00.001+01:00

Hey there,

Did you like adrians post? So odd of him to write - I guess he was bored being here all alone all weekend :) I should leave him alone more often!

So my weekend was superb, I am still feeling the after effects of it, I feel very peaceful and relaxed, like I can react to any situation with ease. We learned Lovingkindness or metta meditation, from Buddhism, and I got a great book - its called Liberating Insight by Frits Koster. He's a dutch guy and the lady who gave us the workshop, Marjo, is Dutch too, she translated it into english. Its like a rough guide to Buddhism and its really great - obviously there are problems with every religion, but what I love about the teachings of Buddha is that he never claimed to be god, he never said he was "a buddhist" but that he practiced kindness. I think we would have a lot less war in the world if we didn't have labels for our belief system.

So there were 16 of us on the retreat, and we learned how to practice lovingkindness, where you try and find compassion for yourself, and then for others, by wishing yourself well, and wishing everyone else well. Its like a way to send out waves of kindness. It was a really cool experience, I learned a lot about myself, and how I find it so easy to feel compassion for others, for people I have never even met, but that it is so hard for me to give that compassion to myself. I think I finally caught a glimpse of what you guys all went through seeing me sick, and how that must have been so hard... just in terms of not wanting any human being, and especially not one you love, to go through any kind of suffering.

We also learned a bit of insight meditation, or vipassana, where you just watch your thoughts and feelings come and go, and you can realise that sadness, or boredom, or irritation, even pleasure, that they are not solid, that they come and go, pass and fade and come back again, and its fascinating to watch, our minds are so crazy when we sit and watch their complexity.

Ill try and meditate here at home, but its different, more difficult when you dont have someone guiding you, and supporting you. I will definitely do another retreat. The lady that taught us has a meditation centre in Cork, Passaddhi if anyone is interested in trying it!

So thats all. I hope it gives you strength in low moments to know that at any moment, all over the world there are people practicing lovingkindness, and sending out messages of love and compassion to all of us.

Love el xx

Thinking about Ireland

2007-07-21T10:05:00.001+01:00

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and specially about Ireland. I went out last nite with some guys from work. I was talking to one of them, I wont memtiom his name, Polish, on how is such a good experience to live abroad and the like but he said that he will always be a FOREIGNER in this country. I just think that the concept of nationalities is completely idiotic. I mean they work for a lot of things - for example - It's a smart way to keep different type of governments controlling people. I was born in Mexico city and there is a LOT of cool things about Mexico but i don't consider myself solely Mexican - like I am a citizen of the world. I have traveled all over earth and lived in different countries and all I've seen is amazing HUMANS not CITIZENS. I think the concept of a nationality is a MIND conception for most of it and nothing else, and at the end of the day, no matter what, we are all part of the same kingdom and species of the Homo Sapiens.
My point is that Ireland is so lucky to have all of these FOREIGNERS to enrich the culture and it is so interesting to see so many people from ALL OVER. Believe me, it is so boring to be in a country when everyone is from that country, however, as humans, that is our greatest challenge INTEGRATION. The natural thing for most groups, although I am generalizing, but still - consider 85% is to stay within their own group - Spanish with Spanish, Irish with Irish, Polish with Polish and Americans with Americans. We live in the 21st century and Europe has had so many wars because of this lack of integration but it has learned so many lessons and this is the by-product. I love this concept.

Adrian

Loving Kindness Meditation

2007-07-20T09:40:00.000+01:00

Hi guys,

I am going on a meditation weekend today, in Athenry, Galway. It is a silent meditation and I will be learning to open my heart and mind to pleasure and pain, fear and joy according to the brochure! I'm really excited about it!

I'll let you know how it goes!

Love el xxx

Now im Writing

2007-07-17T21:51:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone now is my time to write since Ellen has taken over the writing part even though i was the one to start blogging!!!!!!!

I have a couple of good news our blog is LISTED NOW IN GOOGLE,if you type dudleymont in google you would get a reference to the blog that is COOL.

Also you can get feeds from our blog if you have flock which is a really cool browser check it out Flock WebSite. You can get them anyway with any browser so you are updated with all our posts.

Have fun

Adrian

Photos of Finland!

2007-07-13T23:43:00.000+01:00

Adrian in Tampere (where Ryanair flys to)

Russian Orthodox Church in Tampere

Next we went to a town called Rauma... to see this cool old town - its a World Heritage Site.

But we had to sleep here:

Cos there was a HUGE rock festival on here on the same night...

Cool castle device in Turku that was closed cos we it was Midsummers Weekend, the only time in the whole year when things close. Again, superb timing out of us!

Cycling to see archepelagos

In a little cafe to take a break...

Helsinki

Eating fresh peas

Having coffee by the beach

Sitting outside at Jazz Club

Me & Rach (she visited for the day!) on fort

Thats all the photos I'll bore you with :)

Love el xxx

Wahoo!!!!

2007-07-13T22:39:00.000+01:00

Wahoo! We have internet!! Wahoo!! Wahoo!!!

Wind farms etc

2007-06-16T11:04:00.001+01:00

Adrian says he's gonna write cos I'm threatening to change the name to Ellens Blog, but of course he has found his excuse - he's going for a run!

Its a miserable day. Sometimes I like them cos it means I can stay in without feeling guilty, but on the other hand I would like to go for a walk and this weather makes it so much harder!!

Oh - we went to the wind farm yesterday - wow, its in the middle of nowhere! Took us ages to get there, we finally arrived at 8.30 or so, on dirt tracks, after going around and around a hill for ages! It was really cool, but, to my intense disappointment, (ya right!) we didn't get to go up to the top. They are actually really quiet. The whooshing sound they make is kinda soothing, but I wouldn't like to be sleeping next to a huge wind farm!

Did you know there are about 800 wind turbines in Ireland? They provide less than 2% of our energy needs. This small wind farm that we went to only had 3 turbines, and they provide enough energy for 2000 houses as long as the wind blows. I got all the info - I think the guy thought we were interested in investing in them - as if! With Adrians salary! Hilarious idea! They cost (so he says) 650,000 euro each, so the wind farm cost them 2 million, and by selling the electricity to ESB, they will pay back their loan in 15-20 years. Good investment?

I dunno if I like wind farms now... like in order to provide 10% of our energy needs, we need to install like 3500 more... and although they are "cool", I don't think it would be so aesthetically pleasing to have them dotten all over the mountain sides... Its a tricky one. What do you guys think?

There were loads of other people there, even though the weather was terrible! I was pleasantly surprised we were not the only nerds!

Have a good weekend!

Love el xx

New Computer

2007-06-13T13:15:00.002+01:00

Our Dell PC got delivered today! How exciting! It's still sitting in its box in the hallway. I don't really want to open it yet... I don't know why - I guess I will wait for Adrian to get home from work.

The job search still sucks! I have found GREAT jobs, but in Cork and Galway... even in Tullamore! Job searching is soul destroying - It's only been 2/3 weeks and I feel like I will never get a job!

On other matters: Did everyone know that this weekend they are celebrating E.U Wind Day? Hence the new map above! Wind farms are open for public viewing! We are going to see the wind farm in Nenagh on Friday evening. I'd love to see the one in Dundalk - supposed to be wicked! (can a wind farm be wicked?)

Love ell xx

Job Seeker

2007-06-08T09:06:00.000+01:00

I HATE looking for a job, no, I HATE applying for jobs, really cool jobs, and not hearing anything cos I don't have enough experience. Stupid experience! I could be a product manager, or a product specialist no problem! Just happens that I'm technically a graduate and therefore know nothing...

At least now I have hope that there are some great jobs out there in Biomedical Engineering, but it may be a while before I get offered any of them. So in the meantime, Adrian & I have started to design a web page together, not a web page, sorry, but a "Platform". So we bought a new computer yesterday :) So exciting! And we are going to try to spend at least 15 mins per day on our new venture. This time December we plan to have 300 users. Its a pretty big goal, but I reckon we can do it.

My course that I'm still doing recommends that if you have a dream, that you don't necessarily need to quit your job, although conveniently I don't have to do that :), or spend hours each day, but all you need to do is be consistent, to try every day and fit in 15-30 minutes. And eventually, in 2 years, or 5 years time, you will have built up enough time to actually have created something worthwhile. Instead of sitting and wishing you could quit, or wishing you had more free time, to just use your time more productively. It sounds great, I'll let you know how it goes! Problem with me is that I have about 3 dreams, so that 15 mins is happening only every 3 days, so it may take 15 years for me to publish my novel, or to have the job of my dreams, but I'm not in a hurry.

If anyone has any job offers, send them my way!

Have a good weekend my friends xxx

Belfast

2007-05-21T12:41:00.000+01:00

Hi guys,

Got back last night from Belfast, it was a bit of a trek I have to say, Adrian drove there and back, the 11 hours total. I'd say he won't be getting much work done today!

Belfast was great - sorry Mermaid, I know you want to go! We stayed in a really nice B&B, Pearl Court, and the nightclub we went to, The Stiff Kitten, was really chic. And Ben Watt (you can listen to his radio show at this link) - well he was just AMAZING! Another guy, Alan Simms was playing first, he was also quite good, but nothing compared to Ben Watt! Me & Ad danced from the moment we got in there at 10 'till the moment it closed at 3.15. The guys is such a genius.

We went to W5 at the Odessey - an interactive museum with such great exhibits, we stayed for 5 hours I think, making robots, doing a lie detector, playing with forces, and lights, and sounds. Really great for kids, but we probably enjoyed it more!

On Sunday we went to Falls Road and Shankill Road. If it wasn't for Adrian I would have avoided both areas, I've heard of them but never really knew the details. Its so crazy that they are divided by a wall. You have to see it to believe it.

It was a great trip, just to see the North, that its SO different from here, its like stepping into the UK, the way the houses are structured, planned and built, the way the roads are designed, the way they drive, the fact there's no one out in the evenings, its quite a culture shock!

There are some lovely clubs and bars there, will defo go back again. They love their house music.

Hope you like the edited map lo, can't believe I've never even been there! Anyone else want to be seen on my map, just send me your address!

Have a good week!
Love ell xxx

Catch up

2007-05-02T11:49:00.001+01:00

Ok, finally, finally, halleluyah! Got broadband in our little apartment!!

First, I want to thank everyone who donated to Jessica!!

We went to Dublin for the run, and she finished in 68 minutes so was really pleased. She's gonna walk to Santiago de Compostela during the summer, and will still be receiving donations for that if anyone else is interested in contributing.

So now I'm gonna upload some photos for ye all...

Adrian and I decided to do something to contribute to the environment, and try to make our walkways a little nicer to walk on, so we participated in the National Spring Clean program, organised by the government for the month of April. We picked a date, and the government sent us bags, and we went cleaning. We collected 12 bags of rubbish:

And look at the difference we made!:
Before:

After:

Hope you all are well, and enjoy the updated page,
Lots of love and light and peace and joy and energy!
ellen xxxx

FUNDRAISING

2007-03-07T12:45:00.000Z

Hi there my friends,

My sister is running the Great BUPA Ireland Run on April 15th to raise funds for the Shining Star Primary School in Kenya. You may know that last summer she spent a month as a volunteer in Kenya and spent some time working with the children attending this school and their parents. In this area 23% of the population are infected with HIV. Illnesses like typhoid and malaria are also commonplace.

Large numbers of children turn up to school every day to learn, despite travelling many miles on foot, without breakfast or lunch. This school is so basic, there aren’t enough classrooms or desks; there are few schoolbooks and little stationery. However, it is run by very enthusiastic and passionate staff. She promised that when she returned home she would tell everyone about her time in Kenya and ask them to support the local school.

Please email me or comment here the amount you would like to donate. This money will go directly to the Shining Star school and will be used to provide books and supplies, desks and possibly a new classroom.

http://www.villagevolunteers.org/

I know you guys are generous and therefore would love to donate a few quid ("lana" en espanol) - it means you will not have to attend a tablequiz at a later date :)

If I will not see you to receive this money, please make out a check to Village Volunteers, and post it to me here in Limerick, or email me and I will forward my account details. This means you guys in England, South Africa, Australia, San Francisco and even New Zealand have no excuse. I did have my account details up here but Lola told me its dangerous... Dont want any of those donations going missing! Mis amigos en mexico, entiendo si no pueden, yo, todavia recuerdo los pinche sueldos en mexico!

Thanks guys!
Love el xx

Hope Al Gore is Wrong!!!!!

2007-01-12T05:07:00.000Z

Hola Adrian Here, it's 6 o'clock in the morning just got out of bed obviously because i couldn't sleep anymore, had some funky (bizarre) dreams about me being push over a cliff or something and i woke up with the shivers you know what i'm saying, it is not a particularly a nice feeling, and decided to write some stuff in our blog.

If you like horror movies, you should check out this movies that we just watched they were pretty cool:

Saw
Really good horror movie probably the best one that i've seen so far.... (check out the link)

An Inconvenient Truth
And anothet horror movie, that is not actualy catalogued as horror by its formal genre... (check out the link).
I just hope all the scientific data and investigations that Al Gore has gathered are inaccurate or somehow politicaly biased, because if not we are going to be SO SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!
Meaning both north poles are going to be completely melted in 50 years, without including the fact that the weather worldwide is already changing and
almost all the most important glaciars are already retrieving more that 3 meters per year.

PLEASE watch this movie and if not here are some important guidelines:
YOU CAN CLICK ON IMAGE IF U CAN'T SEE IT:

Cheers Enjoy Life and Have Fun

In spanish

Diviertanse mucho que la vida is HOY no manana.

Ad.